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Saturday, July 18, 2009

A Day In Ratings

Good evening Ladies and Gents. Today, I present A Day In the Bucket Rating Scale. You know how it works--it's a lot like the Drew Carey Point system on This Show. In short, the points don't really matter-- if something sucks, it sucks in buckets. If something's awesome, well that comes in buckets too. Weirdness comes in buckets or spatters, and the rest I make up as I go along.

Shall we commence?

Today's high of 109F? IIII--yup, that's FOUR buckets of suck!

Harry Potter VI-- IIIIIII-- yup, count 'em-- that's SEVEN buckets of awesome. I don't care if it's religious to the books, it was a kick-ass movie.

Mamma Mia (which we're watching as I type)-- III--three buckets of awesome. Pierce Brosnan is still pretty, but my cat can sing better.

Chicken's psycho cat and his bizarre affection for my feet-- ** Yeah-- that's 2 spatters of weird.

Chicken's newly made poppet in black and orange with big creepy glass eyes? -- IIII --mmm hmm-- I give it four buckets of awesome.

Big T's enthusiastic commendation from the grandparents after camping-- IIIIII--six buckets of awesome (bucket of course;-)

The Cave Troll's big ass tantrum and refusal to fall asleep-- III--that's three buckets of suck, right there.

The two hornets nests I've had to kill in the last three days-- II II --that's two buckets of suck A PIECE!

The hidden hornets nest still producing black-jacketed nightmares? IIII--Five buckets of suck.

My two first round beta readers who are now reading Rampant and who will very gently tell me that it probably sucks just a little now, but that it may be fixable with some elbow grease-- IIIIIII --Seven, count 'em, SEVEN buckets of awesome. Me <3 you guys!

My parents for taking my two oldest to Lassen National park for a week and then telling me that they're good kids- IIIIIII-- SEVEN HUGE BUCKETS OF AWESOME.

To my kids, for surviving-- IIIII Five buckets of awesome. (They didn't have to drive, pack, or plan.)

To my fucking car tires for getting damned close to blowing out two weeks before I have enough money to replace them-- III THREE buckets of suck. (It goes up to 10 buckets of suck if those fuckers blow before August 1st when I take the car in!!!)

To my amazon numbers which are in the toilet right now-- One bucket of suck.

To 16 pages of Jack & Teague part 4: Changing-- One-half a bucket of awesome.

To the 1/3 a kid's hat that I knitted during HP 6-- 1/2 a bucket of awesome.

To Cherry Almond Fudge ice cream-- II--2 buckets of awesome.

To a visit with my grandmother & mother tomorrow in the godless heat-- IIII & II --4 buckets of awesome for the visit, which will make them both happy, and 2 buckets of suck for the godless heat, which makes nobody happy.

To Abba, because Mate and I remembered more Abba than we thought we did-- ** 2 spatters of weird.

To Daniel Radcliffe who is totally turning into a hottie in spite of the fact that he's still a fetus-- *** 3 spatters of weird for ugly cougar vibes.

To Socks That Rock colorway Rockstar for self-striping on Chicken's half-pipe hat and TOTALLY pooling on Ladybug's beanie-- ** 2 spatters of weird.

To reruns of Supernatural which allowed me to watch the I Know What You Did Last Summer episode which features the lines "Well, you wanted me to come clean!" "Yeah--but now I feel dirty!"-- II-- 2 buckets of awesome.

To the giant bag of plastic bags going to the recycle bin that just appeared to my overworked eyes like a 'plastic bag snowman'-- **** --that's a 4-star smattering of weird.

To cold, clear water--IIIII-- 5 buckets of awesome... and the jury's going to write some more now! Later!

3 comments:

Roxie said...

"Whose Line is it Anyway?" on you tube. Thanks for two hours of giggles.

I'll give it 2 buckets of awesome. And good luck on that family visit. You're a bucket of awesome all by yourself!

Galad said...

I am a nerd so added it all up! I came up with 32.5 buckets of awesome(after subtracting the suck) with a side of 13 spatters of weird. Overall it sounds like a good week.

Roxie's right - you are a bucket of awesome :-)

DecRaink said...

I actually understood your point system, and thought it was great.
2 buckets of awesome for being hilarious with 3 side splatters of weird for having my mind sync with your weirdness :0) lol