I told him I'd put it on social media so everybody else could share the laughter.
You all were most accommodating, thank you ;-)
Next, I had to go grocery shopping so Squish could make lunch. I said, "I mean, honey. How bad could your lunches be?"
"They're bad mom. Today we had chicken and waffles."
"But I LOVE chicken and waffles."
"Eggos and nuggets, Mom!"
"Oh. That's just cruel. Shopping now."
And also today--
ZoomBoy: What do you call a country of criminal genitalia?
Me: Got nothin'
ZoomBoy: A penile colony!
Me: Or Trump Tower.
ZoomBoy: How did the triangle stop getting hy-on-pot-(en)-use?
Me: Do tell?
ZoomBoy: He had Pythagorean Therapy!
Me: Math nerd jokes!
ZoomBoy: And stoner humor-it's fusion!
And of course Chicken sent me this picture of her cat. I added the captions.
And now for a brief political rant:
For those people saying, "He won! Get over it!"-- no he didn't.
Saying that thing in the White House "won" the presidency is like saying a meth addict who had his buddy roofie a girl in a bar so he could sexually assault her in the back of her car and then steal the car "won" a Mercedes. He used nefarious means to gain unfair advantage over an unsuspecting electorate, abused the electorate, and then took something of value that didn't belong to him because his "date" was chemically (or electronically) impaired.
Way to go, Cletus--that stolen Mercedes with the unconscious victim in the back is quite a prize--the family would way rather have that thing than a college diploma anyway.
He didn't win. He had his wingman help incapacitate his victim and he stole.
And the girl in the back will NEVER get over it.
And now, for a moment of faith...
As I was grocery shopping (for Squish's sandwich fixings) there were about three people with only one or two things who got called from one line to the other.
One was black, the other was white, and the white guy had a shaved bald head and a hockey jersey. Yes--given the events in Charlottesville today, I was a little leery. The clerk called them over, and the white guy said, "You can go ahead."
The black guy said, "No--no. You were in front of me. No worries."
And then the white guy hung out and waited for the other guy's groceries to be rung up--and he paid for them.
"You don't have to--"
"No. Today, on me."
Now I know that was awkward--and probably socially wrong in some way and people will find a thousand things wrong with it.
But I saw a guy who looked like the enemy, desperately trying to prove that he was a friend. An ally. And he didn't get to go first because he was white. And the rest of the world deserved kindness.
I hope I'm right. I know the man with the free dinner fixings was grateful. Yes--he could have paid for his own groceries, but God. It must have been a relief to know the stranger was a friend.
So there you go. A little faith. Goddess knows we need it.