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Monday, August 22, 2016

Awards I've Earned

Tonight I was sitting at my desk, editing, when Mate asked me if I had a highlighter.

Of course I had a highlighter... I mean... I had a highlighter, right? I had an entire plastic drawer set full of office supplies, there had to be a highlighter in there SOMEWHERE, right?

Well, I dug through the drawers and realized that I was up for some sort of award for Hoarder of Office Supplies--with some more rummaging (and the discovery of a pink highlighter, go me!) I decided I had won in the category of Hoarder of Office Supplies, with a gold medal in Sharpies and a silver in Child-sized Scissors.  

Save your applause for later, folks--that's only the beginning of the awards I give myself today!

*  I won a gold in getting my kid to school on time. The reason it's a gold is because this may be the only time I get her to school before the bell for the rest of the year.

*  I won a gold in begging the vet tech to chop up Geoffie's Benadryl into quarters, because... *flails* who can actually cut up a pill like that without crumbling it!

*  I won silver in putting on the poky bra without whining. It would have been a gold but I got points off for wadding kleenex under the strap when I was at the gym and had no other bras to wear.

*  I won a gold medal in my favorite event--determining What the hell is that smell and What to do about it, when I nailed the cat crap in the dog bed which was not anywhere near my line of sight at the time. Even Mate was impressed.

*  I win some sort of award for not using my phone as a rock to kick in the road after it died on me for the umpteenth time and then refused to start.

*  I win a bronze in having dinner ready for my husband when he got home. It would have been a gold if it hadn't been ready made salad with heated pre-cooked chicken on the top.

*  I win a silver in spreading the joy for sending my husband a blog post about the woman who pooped her closet. It would have been a gold, but since I looked up the article to show my editor why I was using the expression, "The dog pooped the house", I got points taken away for self-interest.

*  I win a gold-- that's GOLD--for coming home and functioning damned close to normal after a business trip. 

*  And I'm about to win a platinum for sleeping!

What awards have YOU won today?

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