Green's Hill-Amy Lane's Home - News

Friday, December 25, 2015

Happy Solstice/Merry Christmas/Winter Holiday Madness HUZZAH!

So Mate and Chicken arrived last night-- I greeted them with food and hugs and conversation-- and Mate fell promptly asleep at nine o'clock.

Now, Mate usually wraps the presents, but this year he fetched the Chicken, and so, as my own sort of present, I wanted to wrap all the presents FOR him.

It took me all night.

This morning, Chicken walked in on me at my computer at four in the morning.

"What in the fuck are you doing up?"

And like a guilty kid, I stood up and slammed my computer shut.

"Going to sleep."

"Seriously-- go to bed. This is insanity. Go!"

I'm sure she got her drink of water and wondered when I'd grown younger than her. (I remember that day clearly. She was ten.)

This morning, after five hours of sleep, Mate and I went shopping for a last minute gift and then for groceries. I could not seem to stop talking, and everything was fucking hilarious.

"Where are we going?" I asked, as he turned the corner to Beverly's.


"This is Beverly's."

"Oh, crap. Which one is Michael's?"

"Does it matter? They're all middle-aged people with a fixation with hot glue and stickers!"

"You're totally losing it."

"I could open a store called Amy's, and everybody would know what was in it!"

"Yarn and porn."


So, you know, he was part of the madness. But I guess it topped out when we were in the grocery store.

"So I have to get customer service," he told me.

"Yeah, to get toothbrush heads."  I laughed. "That sounds dirty."

"Of course it does. I'll be back."

He got back, and his oscillating toothbrush heads cost $30.

"For three heads?" I asked. (Heh heh)

"Yeah-- that's sort of outrageous."

"I don't know--I charge you fifty and you only get one head."


So I stopped--that conversation abruptly and started a new one.

" I found a new show! It's called Haven, and it's great! The girl has this snarky sense of humor, and the guys are hot, and it's got Eric Balfour and he's sort of morally ambiguous and it's got this other guy who's got the same problem as the kid in Kick Ass and it's got this weird town and these two old geezers and there was this girl in the first one that I recognized but couldn't figure out where from and it's driving me crazy and--"

"Uh, Amy? How many episodes did you watch of this new show?"


"Oh dear lord... when we get home, you're taking another nap!"

"Okay--do you think I should?"

"I think you haven't paused for breath in an hour."

We got home, and one of the things on our errand list had been a pillow form for Chicken, who had bought a pillowcase with her friend's favorite band on it.

"Mom, uh, that's too big--"

"But it was the only one they had!"

"But it's huge!"

"But your pillow case will fit!"

"It's not folded in half--that's actual size."

"So, what do we do?"

Mate asks, "Do you still have the receipt? I tucked it in your pocket."

"No, I threw that away, it was annoying me."

"We have receipts in the car for coffee you bought a month ago and you threw that one away."

"That one was in my pocket, and it was annoying me."

Yeah. He was right. A nap was totally in order. He went to get the small pillow and I laid down and woke up almost sane.

Merry Christmas or solstice holiday everyone. May you have some hope and some joy. If you don't have a Mate or a crowd of people and fur-babies, may you have comfort and faith that your happiness will come.

I have faith for you.

*  *  *

And Winter Ball is now available at Amazon, DSP, and ARe.  Enjoy!


Janie Friedman said...

Happy Solstice and stuff! Am in the midst of Winter Ball, and loving it so far.

Donna Lee said...

Happy Solstice and Merry Christmas and happy upcoming New Year. I know that I am blessed beyond measure and am grateful every day.

Lee said...

Heehee! Hope you and yours had a fabulous holiday!!