Green's Hill-Amy Lane's Home - News

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

And That Happened...

My fever is back just a little, because I went swimming again, but that's not why swimming was a mistake.

No, no--see, this was the first time I'd gone in about 2 1/2 weeks, almost 3. I was SO HAPPY to be at the water again.  I got there late because hey, it's me, and paused for a moment to pull off my sweater, T-shirt, and jeans and set them in my bag before giving my suit a tug and starting for the pool.

And that's when my thumb popped through my suit.

0.0  I was right there. I could SEE the water. How bad could one little hole be?

I started for the stairs and all was well until I hit the water and started moving.  And the rip started to crawl.  Uh oh.  At this rate, if I turned around and went back, I'd still be flashing a whole lot of ME before I even got to my bag.

I signaled the teacher, and had her go through my stuff (embarrassing--so glad I don't keep condoms and sex toys in my gym bag-- just saying) and she pulled out the T-shirt I was wearing.

The one that said, "The only women who don't love gay romance are the ones who haven't read it yet."

Everybody got a good look at that as she dropped it into the pool, and I put it on quickly, dragging it down and tucking it under the elastic and through that abominable hole.

But that didn't stop the hole from spreading.

By the time I was done with water aerobics, the suit had ripped from my hips to my boobs--and it was a damned good thing I had that shirt on.

On the one hand I was like, "Wow, that was embarrassing!"

On the other hand I keep replaying that Sam the Eagle skit from The Muppets when he goes, "Did you know that UNDERNEATH OUR CLOTHES we are ALL NAKED!"

Well, I certainly was today!


And in pictures today, we have

 A. A Valentine display from my neighborhood that I really sort of love,

B. The haunted cat trying to get in so she can continue to haunt us-- you know the drill, 'Feed me! Pet me! Brush me! Or I"ll stare at you like this forever!"

C. Chicken in Target, saying, "That's one way to get fisted!"  And the two of us afraid we'd never get invited back to Target again, and

D. The ladybug fudge pops came with the flowers Mate sent.  Yes, he's absent today-- business trip--but I felt loved and appreciated for my Valentines Day!

(So did the kids, who also got cards and some gifts. The big kids got Shari's Berries of their OWN :-)

So night all-- falling asleep. Hope your V Day wasn't bad--or, at least if you WERE the one growing naked in the pool, your T-shirt covered the important bits, because seriously, that's a blessing!

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