Okay-- so Wednesdays are notoriously busy for me--and today, I left off something important. Let's see, let's see, let's see....
Drop Squish off at school? Check
On time? No go, repeat, Daylight Savings Time is kicking our ass, and the on time issue is no go. As Mate said about Zoomboy, he's been late three times this week, and it's Wednesday. Same with Squish. Tomorrow, they shall be on time.
Remember not to drop embarrassing nickname for her classmate as I'm dropping her off? Also a no-joy situation. As I was dropping her off, the little boy with the man-bun wedge walked up, little bun in place, and I said, "Oh, look-- there's your little man bun buddy." Squish fell off her seat laughing and then told me she'd never be able to look that kid in the eyes again. So, let's try that again--
Ruin my kid's chances at ever being socially smooth and worry free? KAZAM! We have a check.
Aqua work out? Check
Zoomboy from school? Check
Stop at Del Taco? Oh my God, do you know they've got a steak burrito with both fries and guacamole? Dudes! It's like... anyway, check.
Thirty minute nap? Check
Squish from school! Check
Dance lessons? Check
On time? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Return kids home? Check
Answer Squish's question about puberty? Check
Avoid scarring her for life? Well, she asked me how she knew when her period was going to start. I told her she wouldn't. She would put the signs together later. But first she'd wake up and her face would turn into the crater mud flat from Bumpass Hell, she'd rip her brother's face off to steal the last Oreo, and she'd go to sleep on white sheets, dream that wolverines were ripping out her ovaries, and wake up on the Japanese flag and go "Oh! I should have known!"
So, scarring for life? Achieved.
Also, I told her that I'd probably be going through menopause at the same time, so we'd know something was up when all the men were hiding under their beds like the cowards they are.
And then there was dinner--brought my Mate--and watching a movie and general happy family time, and I thought we were all okay.
Until Zoomboy presented the green hat I'd bought him, and it hit me.
I'd bought him the hat, but nothing else for St. Patrick's day.
THERE WAS NOTHING TO PUT IN THE LEPRECHAUN TRAP.
So, I told the kids that the leprechaun would show up tomorrow when they were in school. Zoomboy asked why. Squish said, "Because the leprechaun is tired now and needs to go shopping tomorrow."
So there you go-- destruction of cherished childhood holiday ritual? Complete. Check that baby off the list.
I'm gong to bed now to see what I can destroy in dreamland, yeah?