Green's Hill-Amy Lane's Home - News

Saturday, March 26, 2016

And The Pagans Rejoiced

So, this was going to be Scorched Haven, but I'll try to give you that tomorrow. It seems I'll be filling plastic eggs with chocolate tonight and hiding them for the kids...

Speaking of, I have a little story I'd like to share.

So, Big T is going to be 24 in December, which means that, for the last 24 years, we've been collecting kid shit for Easter. Everything from plastic eggs to table centerpieces have been accrued in a giant Lexan that we keep out in the garage.

An old Lexan.

A missing Lexan.

Only, we didn't know it was missing.  We spent much of our day at a community egg hunt passing out soccer fliers to potential club members, so the day was pretty busy. No time to send Mate to look for it until late afternoon.

So, right about the time dinner was almost ready, I texted Mate (since kids were in the room) Are you going to get the Easter stuff? T can't find it.

Mate texted back, I'll get it.

Then he came back in and texted, Not there!

And it wasn't. Whether it sustained water damage (because it could have been cracked) and T threw it away without telling us, or it's buried in a different pile of boxes, one that we can't find, the Lexan was gone.

Now, we have Easter. We have chocolate eggs and new suits of clothes and chocolate bunnies and jelly beans and a toy a kid (and yes, St. Patrick's Day followed by Easter followed by Squish's birthday has been driving us into credit debt for 10 years, why do you ask?) already bought. Hell, I sent Chicken's stuff to her on Thursday--it arrived today.

But for things like baskets and decorations and plastic eggs, we depended on that Lexan!

Do you want me to go buy some eggs and baskets?  

Great! Another $100 on plastic eggs. Fucking wonderful.

Well, he does have a point. We're sort of getting near the finish line here, folks. Squish is turning 10. I give it maybe two years before we don't need to hide plastic eggs and just the Easter basket and a gift certificate to Target will do us.  (Mate is looking forward to these days with all his heart. He loves kids, loves playing with them, but these yearly sacrifices of cash for ritual obesity have him baffled. I gotta admit, I was eyeing the bedroom sets at Target with a wistful eye, given that Geoffie tends to chew on the blankets when she's bored.)

Anyway--I sent back, I can do it for under $50. 

Then I took dinner off the stove, mixed it one last time and took off.

I saved that Easter in $18.96.

I got home and Squish asked me where I'd gone (I left the bags in the car, natch.)  Anyway, I replied, "I went out for mushroom soup and real butter to rescue dinner," which is what I should have gotten because dinner sucked.

"Why don't you have anything?"

"Store was closed. It's the night before Easter."

"Oh well-- I'm making frozen burritos anyway."

"I"m sorry."

Mate looked at me as I walked in. "How much?" he mouthed.


"Dinner didn't need rescue. It was awesome."

I ate my bowl. Folks, it was not awesome. Repeat NOT AWESOME.

But when Big T said, "Dinner isn't good?" Mate repeated, "AWESOME. Dinner was AWESOME."

Which means that, apparently the only thing you need to do in order to excel at dinner is to replace 24 years of memories with $18.96 in clearance Easter products.

Now I know.

Anyway-- Scorched Haven tomorrow or Monday, given that I'm spending tonight stuffing plastic eggs with chocolate and jelly beans.

I hope your Easter has some redemption as well ;-)

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