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Monday, April 10, 2017

Writing with the Ego and the Monstrous Id

Super Ego: This would be a Christmas story and it shall have a length of approximately 40 K and the central premise is a young man who is trying to believe in goodness and an older man who thinks he doesn't have any optimism left, and they--

Id: TWO GUYS FUCKING!

SuperEgo: NO! Jesus, they just met, and one is recovering from a car accident and--

Id: LET THEM FUCK LET THEM FUCK LET THEM FUCK!

SuperEgo: We have a plot arc, you irritating sex-addled toddler, now shut up while I--

Id: You can say "cock" in this one.

SuperEgo: We enjoyed the challenge of the category romance.

Id: You can say it more than once. Cock cock cock cock cock cock--

SuperEgo: Only using one word shows lack of imagination.

Id: Penis erection dick!

SuperEgo: If we're quite done, I can have a civil romance depicting the healing force of two men in a Florida condo--

Ego: Can one of them be terminal with something that hurts a lot?

SuperEgo: NO!

Ego: Please? Like, three year ebola or something.

SuperEgo: There's no such thing. And even if there was, it's so rare we'd be crucified. Now just let me indulge in some banter--

Ego: The other one needs to be damaged.  Multiple personality disorder. A PARENT ABOUT TO KICK THE BUCKET!

SuperEgo: NO! For sweet fuck's sake, this is just two guys working shit out!

Id: TWO GUYS FUCKING, DAMMIT! THAT'S ALL WE NEED!

Ego: WITH COLOSTOMY BAGS!  WHILE ON THE PHONE TO THEIR SHRINK!

SuperEgo: OH MY FUCKING GOD! YOU! ID!

Id: Yessssss?

SuperEgo: If--and only if-- you shut the hell up while I write some goddamned plot, I'll let you watch some porn later.

Id: Can it be THREE guys fucking?

SuperEgo: It can be whatever you find on pornhub. My treat.

Id: Okay. I'm just gonna go thumb through your best sex scenes from the last fifteen years while you try to work but I'll shut up until then.

SuperEgo: Thank you.

Id: EAT SOME CHOCOLATE YOU PORN WATCHING WHORE!

SuperEgo: *mouth full* Dank boo.

Id: Mmm... fingering is my FAVORITE. And then some sucking... and some fucking... and then some coming... EAT MORE CHOCOLATE!

SuperEgo: Go away until I'm done!

Ego: What about me? Did you see this Google search on diseases that still kill people like they did in Brian's Song?

SuperEgo: Look. You're not the Id. I can bargain with you a little. I know you want to cry--

Ego: Happy, you bitch. You haven't ripped anyone's spleen out for three books!

SuperEgo: But I've got Bobby Green coming. You're leafed through my brain cells. You've read the docket. You know what's coming.

Ego: You'd better not pull your punches.

SuperEgo: Bitch, I've got plans.

Ego: Fine. I'm going to be looking up statistics on child abuse-- you enjoy your chocolate and your porn, because you and me have a date.

SuperEgo: Okay, so we've got the two guys, they're being snarky, it's a rain storm--

Id: *whispers* two guys fucking

SuperEgo: And we're not going for the easy fuck here and they're dealing and it's real life--

Ego: *whispers*  pregnant ex wife

SuperEgo: And they're doing the amicable divorce thing and she looks a little more human and the guys are snuggling and they're hot and--

Oh. Fuck it all.

It's time to blog, isn't it.

Id: Let's go to sleep and dream of two guys fucking!

Ego: Let's go obsess about all the bad stuff that can happen to people you love!

SuperEgo: Godammit. A Christmas novella. One simple Christmas novella. *yawn* God knows that those two assholes will write when I"m asleep.

7 comments:

K. Tuttle said...

Sweet baby ravioli!(hail FSM!!) This is an AWESOME post! And a disquieting view into my own mind when I'm trying to decide on my next story to read. Seriously. *shivers*
Oh! When I was reading Bonfires (so good!), I was thinking on how much I'd love to re-read your serial blog that riffed off of Teen Wolf and Eureka together. No clue how to find it again. And I would gladly buy a copy of them all together in one tidy Kindle ebook! Hint.

You are consistently one of my favorite authors, even when I'm delving into your purple stuff, and I usually tend to avoid angst. But you make it worth it. You're doing a fabulous job.

Amy Lane said...

K.Tuttle-- the fanfic is under John/Jack -- http://writerslane.blogspot.com/search?q=John%2FJack

Amy Lane said...

Oh! And thank you!!! Your comments were so kind!!

M. M. Justus said...

I want to strangle Ego, but then I'm definitely more a light person, not a dark (your basketball book and your dance book both scarred me for life [wry g]).

Susan Hermosillo said...

"three year ebola" is the funniest horrible thing I've ever read. Awesome post, thank you.

Janie Friedman said...

Oooh, Bobby Green is gonna hurt, isn't it? Yippee! Thanks Ego.

I mean, I love all the books. And you write great sex scenes, Id, and SE your plotting is a thing of beauty to behold. But. It's been a while since you three got together and let Amy shred my heart. It's really time.

Thanks gang.

Tess said...

I think I'm scare ut I'm not sure which one to be more scared of, even though I do know the books will always be great.