I am working on the ugliest pair of legwarmers known to man. Just the word, 'leg warmers' unless I'm talking about the exquisite laceweight ones in the last issue of Interweave Knits should make you shudder, but these are for a student,and she asked for something real bright, so in an effort to ease the pain of working with nipple-piercing-pink acrylic yarn, I doubled the strand, broke out wooden double pointed vampire stakes big enough to be kinky sex toys and went to town. Just thinking about the results makes me want to squint, but then, when I was in high school I used to roll my jeans up to my knees and wear long striped socks. You may wonder what the hell I was thinking, but, quite honestly, I was in high school, so I probably wasn't. This girl's sweet, she works hard when she's there--which isn't as often as she'd like to be--and the legwarmers may be one of the best things to happen to her year. I'll fight the mental squint, oh yes I will!
Of course, one of the hi-lights of these eyeball sizzlers didn't have to do with working on them at all. I was sitting, k2/p2 away, with the Cave Troll on my lap. He was gracing me with periodic methane emissions that would make my eyes water, and I finally figured out where the scent of diapers was coming from. (His sister was napping...)
"Cave Troll, are you just sitting there FARTING on me?" I asked, with appropriate outrage.
He smiled at me beatifically. "Yes, mom. I'm farting."
And then he went back to dozing on my shoulder. I mean, what do you say to that? The boy was doing what boys do, I guess...he had no idea why it should cause so much excitement. And, really, I guess after the damned dog, who has been trying to gas us out of our own home for ten years now, a few left-cheek sneaks are really no big deal.
And beyond that? Sock sock sock! I keep waiting to get really bored of the damned things, and although I wouldn't mind making some sweaters, the only one in the family who really needs a cool looking sweater right now is me, and I'm not really ready to commit to that many stitches. I've read the Big Girl Knits books. I know I should be looking at a three-acre DK weight masterpiece. Give me a few years--that damned baby weight may come of yet!
Oh yeah! Roxie sent me back one of my tangled skeins, bless her heart--she told me it took her ten minutes to detangle--I told her it would have taken me that long to foul it up beyond repair. Oh yeah--speaking of Roxie--girl friend got her picture in the Harlot's blog!!!! I was squealing all over the kitchen--go check her out, she's the one in the ROCKIN' LIZARD QUEEN HAT!!! I really do know the coolest people on the net, don't I!!!
Speaking of cool people, everyone's got their fingers crossed for Donna Lee, right? It should be no big deal tomorrow, and I'm thinking good thoughts for her--but for those of you who read her blog, she's sort of a fantastic good-thought-thinker, and she deserves some extra good ones coming her way.
And other than that? My weekend has been SOOOO mellow. The temperature in other parts of the country may be 'climbing' but ours pole-vaulted into the low nineties, and it's made every outside activity sort of slow and opressive, in spite of the sunshine. In June, a day in the nineties will be mild. After a week of things in the high sixties, it's like waking up and finding yourself in the freaking amazon--and it does take it's toll on the little people. I'm sort of watching the Cave Troll fall asleep on the couch as I type--we spent an hour at the park, and I got two naps and I cooked. Mate did some household chores, and we emptied out the coin jar and bought doughnuts. I mean really--very mellow. If it wasn't for those damned leg warmers, I'd have nothing to tell, seriously! The most subversive thing I've done in two days is point out to the kids where the edited version of Major League should have had swear words and didn't. (They knew--go figure!)
So that's it. My life without drama. If the world doesn't fall apart sometime before my big whatever giveaway, I'll try to come up with a really whacko thought or two... I mean, it does pay to have a brain that functions in the bicycle lane instead of the freeway, right?