Jai/George -- The nature of secrets-- Part 10

Hey all-- thank you for the kind responses to last night's post. There is some true kindness in the world, and I am grateful.

And now, a little bit of Jai and George-- for you :-)

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The Nature of Secrets

Jai didn't like to talk about his former boss. When you were a child and over six-foot tall and you had a reputation for defending the small and the weak on your block, you got picked by the local mob boss as muscle.

You got taken to a foreign country, whether you wanted to be or not, and put in charge of the boss's family, whether you liked them or not.

Jai had liked the younger ones--they delighted every time he smiled. Nobody was afraid of him, because he would scowl and wink and play.

But then his boss would say, "Don't speak to him. He's a boy-fucker. Just let him stand there and look scary."  And the children would stop smiling.

Jai had grown accustomed to this as his life before he'd started working for Ace. But Ace and Sonny were lovers, and it didn't scare them that Jai was gay or wanted Sonny so very badly, and he'd begun to relax a little. The thing he had, in the mountains, with George, his kind and delicate nurse, made him happy--but he kept it close.

His old boss would use it against him.

Jai had seen the boss kill a girl once, because one of his men liked her enough to be late to a meeting. It was better that George stay secret. Not that he thought Ace would do that--but if Jai could, he'd keep Ace and Sonny and Alba secret too.

Secrets were comfortable.

When Burton brought Ernie to Ace in October, Jai understood. Ernie was a secret--nobody should know. Secrets had become to mean more than just facts to Jai. They became people you wanted to protect.

But even Ernie, who was kind to Alba and Sonny could be an uncomfortable secret.

"Burton needs to come see that boy," Ace muttered fitfully while doing the bills behind the counter one night. Alba had gone home because she had school in the morning, and Sonny was making dinner. As had bought him an Insta-Pot and he'd become enamored of baked beans. Jai could only be happy George didn't have to share his tiny apartment on those nights--but he was a little sad he didn't tell George these things, because the thought made him chuckle all day.

His gas also terrified Duke, the tiny Chihuahua that Ace and Sonny spoiled like a princess, and watching the creature run around their little house yapping after Jai's unfortunate gastric emission had made everybody laugh for a solid half-hour.

George was always smiling, or trying to smile. Even when he'd felt like death he had made little jokes. Jai thought that maybe his George had a sense of humor, even about gas.

He sure hoped so.

Jai pulled his attention back to Ace and his statement. "He is afraid of being owned," he said thickly. "Ernie would be... dangerous, I think. To Burton's peace of mind."

Ace rolled his eyes. "That's everybody. That's me and Sonny--you think I've had a decent night's sleep since I saw him, that first day in the military? I can assure you, I have not."

Jai grunted. "Sonny is much maintenance. I imagine some lovers would let you sleep better." George wasn't high maintenance--but then, Jai wouldn't mind making him so.

Ace eyeballed him and Jai shifted as he sat. "You have somebody," he said, and Jai crossed his arms, feeling naked.

"That is none of your business," he muttered, before his promise to George rebounded to his head like a boomerang.

Ace just looked at him, eyebrows raised. "You are my friend and we take care of you. It should be my business," he said, no bullshit.

Physically Jai was much bigger. He'd killed men Ace's size with very little trouble. Jai was also very aware that he could no more hurt Ace than he could hurt the ridiculous, loud, irritating, dear little carpet flea that liked to place delicate little paws on Jai's chest while it licked Jai's chin.

There were some things a man--a real man--should never do.

He looked down at Ace and looked away. "He has asked," he said with dignity. "He has asked if you could know about him. Should something happen to me, you would tell him."

Ace grimaced. "Should we tell the--"

Jai shook his head. "No," he said, forbidding in his stomach. "Just... my former employer, he still sends men around."

Ace's jaw clenched. Jai had said very little--but the other muscle guys who had visited every so often to make sure Jai was "satisfactory" help for Ace pissed him off. More than once they'd offered to "protect" Ace's garage themselves, so Ace could "let Jai go." Ace was not a stupid man--he knew "let Jai go" was code for "have Jai killed." Ace had looked a cold blooded killer in the eye and said that if Jai was ever "let go", Ace would call up the man's boss and tell him that the killer had made a direct threat on the boss's life.

And Jai had told the man that in order to get to Ace, he'd have to come through Jai.

The men had left in a hurry after that, probably assuming that Ace and Jai were lovers, but as they disappeared, Ace said, "And we can only thank God Sonny was not here to see that," And Jai knew they were on the same page.

Sonny was their secret together.

And now George would be.

"Yeah," Ace said now. "I hear you. You don't want every dumb motherfucker on the planet knowing your business. Alba keeps my finances government issue clean--but I don't want those assholes pawing through my spreadsheets. Sonny can fix a car better than anyone either of us have ever seen--I don't want anybody looking for his fucking certificate. You and Ernie and Burton, you get invited into our house because we want you there. Anybody else comes in, they get a kick in the balls--"

"Or a knife in the ear," Jai said mercilessly.

"Or that," Ace agreed. He didn't flinch or qualify that statement, which is why Jai loved him in the same way he'd once loved his father, before he'd been taken from home.

Ace gave Jai his phone. "Put his number in," he said. "You can watch me text him once and then any contact after that, I'll run by you. Is that fair?"

Jai's throat felt thick and words were hard after that. "Da. Thank you."

He watched then as Ace punched in Hi--I'm Jai's friend--

"And employer," Jai interjected.

And employer, Ace Atchison. He wanted you to have my number in case we needed to reach you.

"There," Ace said, showing Jai the sent text. "That good enough for--"  The phone buzzed as he held it up, and Jai could read the next text.

Tell him thank you for me. I'm pleased to meet you. I'd love to know where you live so I could visit. Jai knows my hospital and my parents' names and my cat's name and I know really nothing about him. Tell him hi for me--George

Ace stared at the message for a moment and then looked back up at Jai, who was shifting uncomfortably.

"That?" he asked. "That's your guy?"

"He is..." Jai swallowed. "Personable."

"Jai," Ace said seriously, "you have to tell him who we are."

Jai crossed his arms. "I have tried," he muttered. "I told him what I used to do, and I told him... I tried. I am a bad person--"

Ace held up his hand. "No, you are a good person. But just spilling all of that information about himself--about you. That's dangerous."

Jai pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know how," he said at last.

Ace nodded. "Understood. Here. Let me try." George, it's nice to meet you. You sound nice. Jai is a good man but he's very private. The things he tells you are his and yours alone. We'll meet when he's ready, I'm sure.  "How's that?" he asked, showing Jai the text.

"You said 'nice' twice," Jai told him.

"Do I look like a fuckin' poet here?" Ace asked, his voice pitching because, Jai understood, this was not really his wheelhouse.

"No," Jai agreed. "That is fine."

"I won't talk about you without your permission," Ace said, pressing Send.

"Thank you."

Ace let out a breath. "Now we need to go inside and eat. And be sure to tell your guy that by not having the two of you eat here at the same time when Sonny's making beans, you might have just saved his life."

Jai chuckled. "I had planned to."

"Good. Then he'll fit in just fine."

*  *  *

Jai saw George about a week before Christmas. Camping was damned cold, so Jai had rented a hotel room in Grapevine. It wasn't a great hotel, but then, they weren't really there for the amenities.

Their customary greeting lasted for about two hours this time--made longer, Jai suspected, by the king sized bed. When they both fell back into the sheets, panting and sweating, Jai wondered for the umpteenth time what it was about George that made sex so... so much bigger than having his cock stroked. He didn't know, but he was curious enough to lie on his side and trace the delicate lines of George's jaw as they both caught their breath.

"Your boss texted me," George panted, closing his eyes and tilting his head toward Jai's touch.

"Da. I saw."

George narrowed his eyes grimly. "He's just as bad as you at giving out personal information."

Jai darted his head in and licked the sweat from George's temple. Like the rest of George, it was delicious.  "We are private people," he conceded.

George looked at him unhappily. "When do I get let into your secret little club?" he asked, the plaintive note in his voice almost killing Jai.

Jai kissed his mouth, savoring. "You do not understand about secrets," he said, "because you have never needed to keep them."

"True," George admitted. "But why--"

Jai stroked his neck with the back of his hand. God, exquisite. "Because Ace and I have kept secrets," he said. "To protect people. We have killed to protect people. And you are now one of those people, you understand? Sonny is one, and Ernie is now one--"

"Who's Ernie--"

Jai grimaced. "He is another secret--but not one that should trouble you. But you see? Our place in the world is to protect secrets. Nobody can come into our house and rip apart our lives, because we have kept the important people safe."

George sighed. "Im important?"

Jai closed his eyes. "More so everyday."

"I brought you a present, you know."

Jai smiled. He did. It was a large jacket, all weather, so they could go hiking even when it was cold. "I do. I brought you one too." He'd brought George a Leatherman tool--useful when camping, but also for self-defense.

"I know. But do you know what I really want for Christmas?"

"No."

"A story--just one story, of your choosing, about your everyday life."

"Of course."

Which was how Jai came to tell George the story about how Sonny fed them all beans and Jai broke wind so badly it scared the dog.

George laughed until he couldn't breathe, and Jai smiled shyly. They ordered takeout, and as they were eating, he told George about how Ernie took the dog out for a walk and how Sonny tried really hard not to get jealous, but Ace was ecstatic, because it meant he and Sonny could have private time together without the dog watching them from his crate.

And then he told about how Alba snuck the dog treats she wasn't supposed to, and how the rest of them made sure the dog ate very very well because otherwise she'd make him fat.

When their weekend was over, he was embarrassed. "I'm sorry," he confessed humbly. "You asked for something real. I have been talking all weekend about an eight pound Chihuahua."

George's smile was bittersweet--but it was also accepting. "I wanted to know who you were," he said. "And I know you're a man who protects your friends, and protects your lover, and finds joy in small things, and can be content with people in his life who care for him. I'll be honest, Jai--it's more than I've known about any Herb, Steve, or Gary I've ever dated."

"Good." Jai held him, hugged him to his chest, for a long time. "Someday," he promised under his breath. "Someday, I will not live in such fear that you'll be taken from me. Someday, you can see my tiny life, my tiny garage, and I won't worry quite so much that you won't think I'm worthy."

George didn't say anything, but he hugged Jai just as tight.

After Jai let him walk away, both of them going to their cars and taking off back toward LA, he realized his sweater--bright green, a present from Sonny the year before, because every man nearly seven feet tall wanted to wear Christmas green--was wet from tears.

As he started his car, his pocket buzzed, and he checked his phone.

You're the most worthy man I've ever met. I'm proud to be your secret. 

His throat tightened, and he touched the face of it lightly.

Da. You are the most precious secret I've ever kept.

Merry Christmas, Jai.

Merry Christmas, George. There will be more to come. 

Habit Forming --Jai/George Part 9

Hey all-- so much promotion and shit to do, but I'm trying to get it done before I start my next project, and I'm dying to write a little fiction tonight.

HelLO Jai and George!

Now, for those of you who remember the timeline (and I often don't) Jai and George meet in the spring--I may have said March but I'm changing it to May.  If we follow what was happening with Sonny and Ace, Redirecting the Blast  happened in early September so Ellery and Jackson could investigate those events after Jackson's birthday, in late September. 

And while we don't know exactly what Jai did--we do suspect it was quite a lot.

Enjoy!

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"You going camping again this weekend?"

George nodded at Amal and laced up his sneakers. This particular shift had been pretty messy--he'd packed street clothes and had availed himself of the shower and had even brought his own body wash so he didn't show up in the mountains smelling like hospital.

Not that Jai had complained, of course--but more and more, George was trying to impress him.

"Yup. Annaliese is watching the cat--and probably drinking all my wine, which I plan for, so I only buy the shitty stuff, and I'm going camping." He took a deep breath of industrial cleanser scented air. "Clears out the old sinuses."

Amal narrowed his eyes. "Clears out something. Are you seriously meeting this guy again?"

George looked away and started packing his bag. "It's working," he defended. "Once every three weeks. You know. Meet, camp, fish, read, unplug, relax. It's better than a facial."  He remembered their last time in bed and smirked. Jai, looming above him in the tent, fist wrapped around his mammoth cock, stroking himself off into George's waiting mouth. That sort of thing looked really good in porn, but anybody on the receiving end knew that come never really ended up in the mouth.

George hadn't cared. Jai's big, solid company, his kindness, the unexpected bursts of humor--these were the touchstones of why George showed up camping as often as he and Jai could meet.

The way he'd convulsed and come when Jai's semen had splattered across his cheek, his lips, his neck--that was the icing, in more ways than just licking it off his fingers.

"Is this a relationship?" Amal asked, still squinting. "Booty call? What?"

"Monogamous?" It was monogamous. George knew that much. Jai had shown him a recent test for their first three meetings until George had just told him that they would only bring condoms if the other one had sex with someone else.

Jai hadn't needed one, and George hadn't either--to the point where George had turned down more than one date with a guy who didn't look like a Marvin or a Gary or even a Steve.

He'd even turned down a date with a Buck, who had been built like a god with a goofy grin and a sense of irony, a paramedic who was super competent and hella sexy.

But he hadn't been six-foot-six and bald with a goatee and a fondness for fishing, so that was no good at all.

This thing in the mountains, this sort of sexual retreat, had been going on for nearly five months and George's only regret was there wasn't more of it.

That and he knew less about Jai than he had before.

That meeting in May, Jai had been a mechanic, ex-mob by his own report, working for a boss he obviously really respected, and recovering from a crush that had been--by his own report--unrequited.

He was still all those things, but now there was the added layer of mystery. Jai managed to neatly dodge any hint of where he lived, where his boss's business was, where he'd lived before that. He talked about customers, about cars, about his childhood in St. Petersburg--sometimes--and about mountains and sky and fish.

He did not, when all was said and done, talk much about himself.

And the only reason George was curious was that... that... he liked this guy. Genuinely, with all his heart. Their sex was incendiary--hadn't even begun to pall--but their time together in the quiet of the mountains had become just as precious as the sex.

So George was looking forward to meeting his mystery mountain lover by all means--but he wasn't so excited about explaining him to anybody else.  Particularly when he got to the campsite and saw Jai building the fire in his shirt sleeves, a big bandage over his shoulder, and what looked like scuff marks on his face.

"Oh my God!" he cried, getting out of his truck--which had been purring like a kitten since it's once-a-month tinkering began in May. "What happened?"

Jai lifted the non-bandaged shoulder. "Work," he said calmly.

"Work? Did an engine fall on you? Let me see that--it's bleeding--"

"I have more gauze," Jai said, turning to take his hands, and then kiss him, slowly, a lazy smile on his face when he was done. "It is not important."

"But Jai! You're hurt!"

"No--I was hurt, but now I am healing. Isn't that what the bandages are for?"

George sputtered some more, and then Jai kissed him again, and George melted into him, suddenly glad--so glad--that he was there. "You could have been really hurt," he said brokenly into Jai's chest. "I wouldn't have had anybody to call me. I would have just... just shown up here, and I never would have known..."

"I would have texted," Jai said, and George wanted to thump him.

"Do you know how much that would suck?" George asked plaintively. "To show up and have you not show up? You're getting important, dammit!" He let out a miserable little sound. "And I bet nobody on your end even knows my name."

"No," Jai murmured against his hair. "Because they worry about me. And they would worry about you too."

George did thump him--on the non-injured shoulder. "So that's it? IT's just... just okay?"

Jai let out a sigh. "Are you going to go home now?" he asked politely. "I was going to start dinner, and if you're going to go home now, I don't need to cook as much."

"Would you even care?" George burst out. "If I turned around and didn't come back?"

And for the first time Jai's genial politeness faded, and he cupped George's jaw with a massive hand. "Of course I would," he said softly. "You are mine--and not much in the world is mine. It would..." He swallowed, and George saw the underlying hurt that his words had caused. "It would bother me a great deal, if I was never to see you again."

George let out a sigh, and his fight drained out of him. He went back to leaning his head on Jai's chest, feeling defeated when he hadn't even known there'd been a battle. "It would bother me too," he said unhappily. "You have no idea."

Jai took his chin between his fingers. "Ace and Sonny--they are good people," he said softly. "And my old boss owes them a debt he can't repay. But me... I... had no lovers of my own, you understand? Because they would be in danger. If you are my regular fuck in the woods, you are of no consequence to anybody looking to hurt me. If you are the man I want my boss to contact when I am injured, then someone knows who to look for."

George swallowed, and those early fears about Jai's past, who he might have been before his current job situation, resurfaced.

But that fear--that overwhelming fear--that Jai would disappear someday, and George would never know what happened--that overshadowed any fear that might've lingered.

"Tell your boss," he begged softly. "Just him. That's all I ask. Please?"

Jai sighed, and ran thick fingers through his hair. "My boss wouldn't have known what happened either, this time," he admitted. "He... well, he got knocked unconscious. By the time he woke up, the worst was over."

George pulled back, shocked. "Knocked unconscious? The actual hell?"

"It... there was a boy who had a sister, and bad people, and the boy was desperate and..." Jai made vague motions in the air. "It was all okay in the end. Will you believe me about that?"

"Jai, what happened to your shoulder? And your face?" George demanded.

"I had to make it okay!" Jai returned, apparently puzzled by the question. "Sonny was upset, Ace was unconscious--don't worry. The boy and his sister are just fine."

George took a deep breath and tried to find a question he could ask that Jai could maybe answer in a straightforward way. "Was there anybody else who wasn't just fine?"

Jai's smile should have chilled George to his toes--but instead, it made him feel safe. "Yes. There were some people who were very much not fine. But they hurt a lot of people, and they needed to be not fine for quite sometime."

George, your booty call is a cold-blooded killer. 

George looked helplessly into Jai's guarded expression, and saw nothing but self-defense. He let out a breath and melted. This thing they had, this habit--it was, in fact, sustaining him. So many painful things--so much injustice and cruelty.

Jai just talked about taking care of people, and suddenly that was all George could care about. Jai, taking care of him.

"Dinner," George said weakly.

"Da. I brought steaks, and a grill for over the fire," he said proudly.

George pulled back from his chest. "One condition, though," he said seriously.

Jai tilted his head to the side, to indicate he was th inking about it.

"Tell your boss about me. My boss knows about you. My friend who watches my cat. Even my mother knows I have a friend I see sometimes on the weekends. They don't know your name, or anything about you--but they know."

Jai let out a sigh. "That is acceptable. But only Ace."

"Not Sonny?" George asked, stung--he'd gathered Jai had carried a bit of a torch.

"Sonny would fret about meeting you. He's not..." Jai grimaced. "A comfortable person. Ace."

Okay. That would have to do for now. If George wanted to sustain this life-giving habit, that was.

Their sex that night wasn't kinky--which was sort of a surprise, because Jai could be very kinky when he set his mind to it. Instead, when they climbed into the tent, Jai took his mouth and kissed tentatively, as though asking permission.

Or forgiveness.

And George, remembering his anger, his threat to leave, kissed him back hard, possessively, without reservation. Because the truth was, George couldn't have carried out on that threat. Not even if he'd known the whole truth, whatever it may be.

Jai--ex mobster, mechanic, whoever he was now--was George's. Unequivocally. And as George pushed him down on top of the sleeping bag and straddled his magnificent naked body, George recognized something basic and immoral in himself that claimed Jai for him. George got this man. Criminal? Probably. But he was George's--not his little secret, not his mountain man booty call--just his. Jai's body in George's, shoving, thrusting, fucking, was a right--not a luxury, or a privilege--a goddamned necessity.

George needed to see him again, like he needed to breathe, needed to scrape his fingernails down Jai's chest.

Needed to cry out, full and stretched and aroused beyond endurance.

Needed to come, moaning and sagging forward, watching with eyes adjusted to the darkness as Jai used his finger to scoop off a few drops and lick it from his skin.

Needed to bear it, to come again, when Jai grabbed his hips and fucked up into him, harder, harder, ah, gods, hard and fast and fuck him,  George was going to fly apart and into the starry night sky beyond the thin fabric of the tent... ah God!

George disintegrated, his body still straddling Jai's, collapsed across his chest, Jai's cock still wedged solidly in his ass, but his soul...

His soul hovered in the night sky for a moment and looked at the remoteness of the stars, feeling their alienation, their indifference to all that went on below.

As George fell back into the tent, into his sated, sweaty, aching tingly body, that remoteness faded, and he was present, one with this giant of a man who would care for him, who made love to him so sweetly, with such animal tenderness, that George's whole being was centered here, their bodies locked together as one.

George wasn't strong enough to hover with the stars and pass judgment. He was human, and his human body, his human heart, needed.

Needed the man he was merged with, regardless of his crimes.

George had to believe he wouldn't hurt innocent people.

Because Jai took such exquisite care of George, and the habit--that precious, blessed habit--of trusting Jai was not something George could overcome.

Bacon and Eggs --a VERY SHORT Part 8 for Jai and Georg

This is going to be super short--like drabble short. I'm in the middle of a blog tour, and the kids have a full plate this week--but I couldn't let us forget about Jai and George! Also Parker was in dentist pain and needed some pets, and we always pet Parker because we love him, so this is for him too.


*    *   *

Jai heard him yawn and stretch, and then the rustling in the tent that indicated he was getting dressed.

"Going to the bathroom," he called softly, and Jai looked up from the eggs he was scrambling.

"Da."

George gave him a shy little smile and a wave and set up for the restroom two campgrounds away.

Jai bit his lip. He'd gotten a smile in the morning.

He hadn't been sure--not really. The night had seemed amazing to him, but he'd been dominant and a little bit kinky. Sure, rent boys were okay with that if you paid for it, but Jai didn't often find willing partners who liked to be teased until they screamed.

But George... George had taken all of it, willingly--happily. Like every suggestion Jai had made had been designed to make George catch fire.

The results had been... magic.

Jai thought magic deserved some bacon and eggs in the morning. And some coffee as well.

For a small man, George made a lot of noise tramping around in his tennis shoes. Jai wasn't surprised when he slipped his cool hands around Jai's middle, under his fleece, and nuzzled his shoulder.

"Good morning," he said, as contented as a cat.

"Good morning." Jai turned away from their food, which was nearly done and bent his head so he could take George's mouth. Ah, minty. Good. Jai had brushed his teeth too. "Sit," he said gruffly after he'd pulled away. "We can eat."

"I need to cook for you, eventually," George told him. Then he grimaced. "Or maybe I can just be the one who brings takeout on Fridays."

Jai laughed softly in deference to the early morning sun peeking through the black shadows of the the trees. "You don't cook?"

"Not well," George confessed guiltily. Jai slid his eggs onto a plate with three pieces of bacon and some toast that had been working as well, then put the whole works in front of George with ketchup and butter.  "This here is my only dish really," he confessed, taking a bite of bacon. "Mm... and you seem to do it just fine."

Jai chuckled and plated up his own food, poured them both milk, and then then sat down next to him on the picnic bench.

"What do you have planned today?" George asked him after his first bite.

Jai closed his eyes and swallowed blissfully. "Fishing--it will be boring, if you would rather--"

"I have a book in my truck," George said happily, and  some tension seemed to go out of him. "Sitting in the quiet with you sounds really nice."

"Good. I am not good at cocktail parties." Jai took a gulp of his milk--milk made him happy in the morning, and it gave his stomach a good buffer from black coffee, which he'd put on the camp stove for when they were done.

"I can fill space with my chatter," George apologized. "I mean, I'll bring the book in case you're ready to strangle me, but seriously--lots and lots of talking."

Jai chuckled. "We shall find a medium," he said. "Somewhere between the silent void of space and a monkey in a tree."

George grinned. "Wow. That's impressive. It's like I've been waiting for a guy to say they can compromise with me my entire life."

Jai gave him a self-deprecating roll of the eyes. "Too many men named Marvin and Gary," he said with a wink.

"Not enough men named Jai who can blow my mind in bed," George told him, and Jai nodded.

"Da." Then the banter faded, and he found the answer to this next question was really important. "What we did last night--it was good? Truly good? No regrets?"

George met his gaze soberly and shook his head. "None. Just, you know. Don't want to scare you away so we can do it again."

Jai's grin threatened to take over his whole face, but he fought it back. "Good," he said, keeping that eye contact. "I would like very much for us to do that again."

"And again," George added.

"I've always enjoyed camping," Jai told him with a bland smile.

"I can see why."

They buried themselves in their bacon and eggs then, before making ready to walk to the lake, camp stools over their shoulders, fishing tackle in Jai's hand, George's book in his. George actually read quietly for an hour, as the sun rose gloriously over the mountains, setting the lake on fire.

Jai couldn't ever quite remember a more brilliant morning.

Getting to Know You...Jai/George Part 5

It's been a while since I visited Jai and George--I seem to remember there about to be sex...

Which I may not get to tonight--but I WILL get to it.

* * *

George could barely contain himself enough to sit down, but Jai insisted. He'd cooked dinner, was plating it up on camp plates, and had even brought the good quality paper napkins and he kept apologizing for not remembering wine.

George's last boyfriend didn't use napkins and probably would have brought cheap tequila and inhaled it from the bottle.

Watching as Jai cast him surreptitious little glances as he prepared a simple meal on a camp stove was such an improvement.

"So," George said, hating to break the companionable silence. "How was your month?"

Jai shrugged. "My month? It was good. Lots of people trying to destroy their cars between LA and Vegas--Ace likes to say he loves those people, they keep trying to make us rich."

George laughed a little. "Nice. I'll have to try not to be one of them."

Jai rolled his eyes and brought their plates over. "Try harder. For God's sake, if you wanted me to look at your truck, you just had to ask."

Oh how embarrassing. "I'm not!" he defended. "Is it normal for it to need work so soon?"

"No," Jai said matter-of-factly. "The engine is dying. Could be fifty miles, could be five-hundred, but your bearings and seals are going to blow."

George stared at him. "That isn't good."

Jai shrugged and took a bite of spaghetti. "That depends. Do you have three thousand dollars for a new engine, or ten thousand dollars for a new truck?"

"I have just enough money to put money in my gas tank and get back to my little apartment in Northridge and eat noodles until I get paid next week."

Jai's glare was truly fearsome. "Do you have a drug problem?"

"No!"

"Gambling debts?"

"God no!"

"Are you paying a blackmailer?"

"NO! And whatever the next awful thing you're going to ask me, no to that too."

"Are you taking care of elderly parents?"

George paused, wondering what Jai had skipped and then deciding he didn't want to know. "No--they're doing just fine in Palm Springs."

"Student debt?"

George let out a breath and touched his nose. "Bingo."

"But your parents are rich?"

"Yeah, but I ran through a lot of their money studying stupid shit before I decided to get my nursing degree."

"Ah." Jai finally took a bite of spaghetti. "Your misspent youth."

"Yeah." George took his own bite and "hmmd".  "Good stuff--thank you."

"You can drive my Toyota home for a month. Sonny and I will make your car a project."

George swallowed his next bite too fast and had to work hard not to choke. "I am not putting out for you just so you can fix my truck!"

Jai's laughter had not gotten any worse over the last month. Rich, round, echoing--it started a stroke in George's stomach that was like foreplay for foreplay.

"But you are putting out for me?" Jai asked, amused.

"After that kiss?" George challenged. "You betcha!"

"Good." Jai took another bite of spaghetti and George followed. "Now tell me about your month."

"Busy," George said promptly. "I picked up a couple of extra shifts so I could get this weekend off. Amal was going to have kittens when I told him I was coming up camping with a total stranger. I tried to explain that it was a date like any other, but he expects me to turn up missing Monday morning."

Jai chuckled some more. "This Amal--he is a supervisor, or your friend?"

"Both. We tried to date. It was like drinking a caffeine free diet soda."

"Tastes like distilled evil and there's still no point?" Jai asked, horrified.

"Yes! Oh my God--yes. You understand. Everything that was wrong with the world was in that kiss. But we get along so well--it's like the gods said, 'Here, you shall have a work friend you are guaranteed not to loathe!' And boom. There we were."

"What makes him such a good work friend?" Jai asked, polishing off his spaghetti and turning on the picnic bench so they could look at each other. Night had fallen as they'd eaten, and only the faintest twilight threw Jai's face into darkness.

"He laughs at my jokes," George said promptly, and then because twilight was always such a serious time of day anyway, "and he knows how to make me laugh when the job breaks my heart."

"Mm." Jai took George's hand in his and stroked the back of it with his thumb. "The job hurts your heart?"

"ER," George said with a shrug. "Sometimes it's junkies who need detox, sometimes it's homeless people with fungus foot, and sometimes..." Unbidden he thought of the two-car crash he'd attended that morning, with four kids in the back of each car. There'd been three fatalities in the end, all of them children, and hearing the two mothers--both with serious injuries of their own--cry out in pain that would never heal--that had shaken them both. George had gone outside during his break to try to breathe deep and get his emotions under control, and Amal had called a fifty dollar grocery delivery for the entire unit--all donuts, cookies, and pastries.

"It was bad, today?"Jai said, breaking softly into his thoughts.

"Yeah. It was kids. That's always rough. Amal ordered like... six tons of Oreos and an entire cheesecake for the floor. We all walked through the nurse's station and shoved sugar at each other. It was... it was funny, you know? Sad but funny. And sort of awesome. Being human is hard sometimes."

"That is a good friend," Jai said. "Like Ace. He makes me come to his house twice a week for dinner. Sometimes I watch movies and sleep on the couch. There's nothing fancy--and we don't like the same movies at all--but he does it so I know I'm not alone."

"Yeah," George said. He brought his hand up to touch Jail's cheekbone with his thumb. "Maybe that's enough of us talking about other people for a minute."

He felt, rather than heard Jai's gentle smile, and then Jai lowered his head for a kiss.

A kiss like dessert, sweet and decadent and a little overwhelming, George was more than ready to give in to the current and get swept away.

Jai hummed and wrapped his arms around George's shoulders, and rather than feeling powerless, George felt empowered. This man--this massive man--who could care for George better than any man in his life--had made him for a date--on time--and promised to do nice things for him and fixed him dinner. Everything a good man was supposed to be, this gentle giant was. George didn't particularly care how many men he'd killed at this point--he wanted to know what it felt like to be protected and cared for.

All his adolescent selfishness had been leading up to this moment, apparently, because he wasn't going to give up this night for anything.

Jai pulled back, chest heaving, and rested his lips on George's forehead for a moment. "If I don't clean up, there will be animals. Do you want me to build a fire or--"

George took Jai's hand and placed it in a very suggestive, very swollen place. "Fire built," he moaned, wishing he could see Jai's expression.

Jai kissed his temple. "Then you go into the tent and stoke the fire," he said, laughing at the dirty pun, "and I'll clean up. Don't worry. I'll be there shortly." He paused. "Oh! Here." He pulled out his phone and punched a link. "See?"

"Jai Popov-- that's your last name?"

Jai wrinkled his nose. "No. Why would it be my real last name? Are you kidding me? But it was my real blood. See?"

"Negative for all transmitted viruses," George finished, then grinned. "Very romantic."

Jai shrugged, looking embarrassed. "I just... you know--"

"No, I shouldn't have laughed. Here."  He reached into his pocket and pulled out his printout, dated that week. "Here's mine."

"George C. Carmichael. What is the C for?"

George rolled his eyes. "Christopher."

"It is a good thing you had a misspent youth, George, or your name would make you invisible." Jai swallowed, and the air about them grew serious. "Thank you. For trusting me. For... for making a promise and keeping it. I'm going to clean up. I'll be in the tent shortly."

As George made his way back to the tent, left his boots at the entrance, and then undressed quickly in the chilly night, the buzz of anticipation made it hard for him to keep the tremble out of his fingers. Finally he was naked, and, with a little help from one of the disposable ampoules he'd packed, pre-lubed. HIs own fingers had been cold, parting his cheeks, squirting up his cleft--but it had been worth it. When Jai appeared at the tent's entrance, toeing off his own boots and then undressing carefully, he looked so serious. George wanted nothing between them, nothing in the way of what was going to happen next.

He was naked quickly, which was a shame because George could make out nothing in the near darkness inside the tent, and then he was inside the sleeping bag. George was on top of him before he could so much as zip up the side.

"Hell--mmmf..."

George had been waiting for this. Waiting to make love to this giant of a man. From Jai's kisses George knew he could be passionate--knew he could be in control--but George was not prepared for the way he completely took over.

With a growl he rolled back over, putting George on his back and holding his hands over his head.

"Slower," he grumbled. "Forever trying to rush things. I like what comes next."

* * *

... And it will happen tomorrow, when I am not falling asleep!!! Sleepy writers write bad sex--it's true!

Surprise Visit Part 2, a Moon/Fish crossover fic

 So, woke up at four a.m. to see Mate off at the Folsom airport, got up at 5:40 to take Chicken to the Sacramento airport to go fetch her friend (she's in the middle of roommate swap--joy!), and then got back at 7:00 a.m. in time to get the kids to school and take the dogs for a walk.

You may believe me when I say I slept for two hours and it still wasn't enough.

Anyway--I'm going to post a tiny transition segment of the Surprise Visit fit, and hope you forgive me for how short it is. I"m up at six in the morning again and oi, I do not sleep well when Mate is gone!

*  *  *

Surprise Visit--Part 2

After Burton left, Ernie wandered around disconsolately, fed the cats, cleaned up after baking, and then, as always happened when Burton left on business, his feet led him back to Ace and Sonny's.

"How long's he been gone?" Ace asked good naturedly, feeding Ernie the last of the tamale pie Ace had made on his night to cook. Ace had muscles like cannon shot and a handsome good-ol-boy face with a dent in his chin. He didn't look like he'd even admit to having a boyfriend much less cook for the one he had, but Ace was surprising that way.

"Left this morning," Ernie said, huffing out a sigh. "Ellery Cramer's mother is in danger. He got her to go to Sacramento so he's going to watch all three of them."

"Jesus," Sonny  muttered. "Are we even supposed to know shit like this?"

"Course we are." Ace sat down and sipped his after-dinner coffee slowly. "We're invisible. Like, nobody even knows we're here."

"How do you even say that?" Sonny demanded. "We make more noise than a sonic fucking boom. We blew up an army base Ace. How does nobody know who we are?"

Ernie snickered. "Because me and Burton and Jackson and Ellery and even Ellery's mother, I think, have worked very hard to make it that way," he said, surprised that Sonny hadn't realized this.

Judging by the blank look on Sonny's face, Sonny hadn't realized this. "Why would they do that?" he said in a small voice.

Jai--who was there because it was Tuesday night and apparently Jai appreciated Ace's cooking too--smiled softly at Sonny, but Ernie wasn't fooled. Jai's tightly held torch for Sonny Daye had changed to an out and out fondness, a soft spot that would never heal, but that didn't pain him anymore. He'd lied to Ernie about having a booty call that he met camping--oh yeah, he had the booty call, all right, but they guy wasn't married, and Jai did like him, and even though Ernie knew the truth, he was highly curious as to what had caused the lie.

"Because they see the value you have free to work on cars and not locked in a cage," Jai said, and Sonny looked at Ace with trouble still in his eyes.

"That sounds like charity," he muttered stubbornly.

"It's more like love," Ace said bluntly. "And it keeps my criminal ass in the free and clear, so I'm really fucking grateful. Do you know how long he's going to be gone?" Ace asked, obviously to change the subject, but also because he wanted to know if he should prep Burton's old room so Ernie could stay there.

Ernie thought about it. "A couple of days," he said, not sure what prompted him but trusting it just like he'd trusted his urge to make apple fritters. "And yes, thank you, I would very much appreciate a place to stay until he gets back."

Ace nodded. "Sonny, stop pouting about people taking care of you and help take care of Ernie. Also, one of you may want to take Duke for a walk--you know how excited he gets when Ernie comes over."

Back in the days before Burton had committed, Ernie had taken Duke wandering the desert at night. Duke had enjoyed their little forays--and probably missed their time together now--so Ernie made sure to come take him for a walk once or twice a week just for old times sake. When Burton was there they'd go together and talk desultorily about the way the desert smelled and what the stars could possibly mean, but without him, Ernie's brain--and therefor his psychic ability--tended to reach out into th e vasty world and bring back things Ernie was never sure what to do with.

There was nothing he could do to stop a bus crash or bank robbery. He told Burton, and hoped for the best. Occasionally his brain came back with stories of the serial killers he'd been asked to assess when part of Karl Lacey's illegal behavior modification project to create the perfect soldier. That he reported immediately, via text if Burton wasn't home, and Burton always told him when his contact with the "bugs" as he called them, because their brains were crawly twisted places, panned out.

So far Ernie was eight in eight for being a reliable bug catcher, and he was glad he could help, but really hated stumbling into a bug's brain when he was all alone and unprepared.

"I'd love some company," he said a little desperately, and Ace tilted his head like he heard the things Ernie wasn't saying.

"Jai, go with him," he said, and while Ace was their friend as well as their boss, it was obvious this was an order.

"Da," Jai said, not even bothering to complain.

They were about a mile out from Ace and Sonny's place when Jai said his first words. "You haven't said anything."

Ernie knew what he was talking about. "About your friend in the mountains? No. You lied to me so I wouldn't know, and I figured that meant you didn't want everybody else to know. Why not?"

Jai shrugged. "George is... he's a nurse. A good guy. I am not."

Ernie snorted. "That's hilarious," he muttered.

"No, no--I have--"

"Killed people. I know. You don't understand. I keep running into serial killers in my mind. It's why I wanted your company you know. Their brains are awful. Like bug warrens. Like little shit beetles crawling through their head."

"Lovely," Jai said, shuddering with revulsion. Jai was well over six feet tall with a shaved head and a black goatee. Watching him shudder was a treat in itself.

"Yeah. Well, I've known you for a while now, and your brain isn't like that. Your brain is all these neat little boxes. Well, one of your boxes has a guy named George in it, and he's bursting the box's seams. You're going to have to share him with Ace and Sonny or he's going to break your brain."

Jai groaned. "Ugh.  Could we go back now? I don't want to think about this right now."

"Sure." Truth tell, Ernie didn't want to either. He wanted to think about Burton, under the same sky he was under, looking out into the cloud mottled stars and thinking about Ernie like Ernie was thinking about--

"Burton's going to have to pull that thing," Ernie said, suddenly right back in the present. "And yell at Jackson to duck. And Jackson's going to duck and roll and there's going to be a crash and the music will explode and then Burton can come home."

Jai was staring at him.

"What?" Ernie said, shaking himself all over.

"That was the fucking creepiest thing I've ever seen."

Ernie groaned. "Well, keep into yourself, okay? I"ve got to text Burton so he knows what's coming."

"How on earth can he know what's coming from that?" Jai asked in wonder.

"Same way I knew how to make apple fritters, Jai. Shit just comes to us."

He typed as fast as he could and when he was done, he let out a breath.

Thanks kid.

Now some boyfriends would blow him off--but Burton had learned to trust him in the past six months.

And now they had to wait.

For his part, Ernie was very curious as to what it all meant.

Jai there! Part 2

Hey all-- first of all, I can't guarantee how long this will be, or how many installments--but I WILL keep writing them every so often.

Second of all, I don't think it's going to be a novel--but, like with Scorched Haven or some of the other ficlets it WILL end up somewhere, either on Instafreebie, OR as part of Fish 4 when it's done.

Third of all--DON'T forget to check out the new version of Regret Me Not in January, because I did the same thing and that's where all the extras went.

That being said, a little more of Jai/George. (I may keep calling this Jai There! because I'm just that big of a nerd.)

*  *  *

Jai crawled into the tent about an hour after George fell asleep. George was tossing, and still feverish, so Jai woke him up with some ibuprofen and crackers--and water, that was very important. By the time Jai had stripped down to his boxers and a T-shirt, George had stilled and was sleeping like the might-maybe-live.

Jai spent a few moments curled on his side, staring at the lump of his sleeping bag in the darkness. Such a sweet man--protests of a misspent youth aside. Kind. Funny. A nurse.

No. George may have liked men, and had the yellow hair, but Jai had killed people. He was not a nice man.

Still, he would enjoy hearing another person's breath in his space, just for the weekend.

That soothed, he fell asleep.

He woke up with a man-sized heating pad vibrating against his chest.

"George?"

George whimpered and shook some more, and Jai grunted, feeling his head. "And you need more medicine."

"Is that it?" George asked pitifully. "God. I'm going to get you sick. Shit. All you've done for me and I'm going to get you sick."

Jai gently pushed him aside so he could reach to the space above him for the bottled water and ibuprofen. "Here," he mumbled, helping George sit up. "Take some of this."  George swallowed convulsively, and Jai realized the moon must have been up and shining directly on their tent. "Now crackers."

George grimaced. "Are you--"

"Or your stomach will cramp some more. I could give you the medicine another way, but that is a little personal, you think?"

George took a cracker, eyes wide in the dark. "You're pretty persuasive," he muttered, swallowing. He took another pull of water, and then, voluntarily, another cracker.

"I am not a nice man," Jai said seriously. "I do not wish to hurt you."

"You realize those two statements don't fit together," George mumbled, finishing off the cracker. He waved the rest of the package aside. "I don't want to get sick again."

"There is a pot next to you--you see it? I set it there when I came to bed."

George chuckled weakly. "You have the instincts of a first class nurse."

"Or a world class mob enforcer." Which he had been. "Or an auto mechanic who cannot hold his sushi."  Which he most definitely was.

"Augh! Don't say sushi." George tried to wrap up in the fleece again, making so much noise and commotion that Jai sat up and turned on his flash light. "What are you doing?" George asked after collapsing miserably in a pile of fleece and tangled sleeping bag.

"Planning my attack. Stay still, small man." Jai unzipped the sleeping bag, ripped the fleece off, and laid it flat. Then he lifted George onto the fleece again like a child in a bunting, and wrapped him first, then got in the bag next to him and zipped it all up."

"That was impressive," George mumbled, sounding dazed. "You should be a nurse."

"Mob enforcer."

"Or an army medic."

"Auto mechanic."

"Hey, it's my fantasy." George rolled over so he was facing Jai and snuggled into his chest. "I might as well make you somebody I see every so often."

"I am no man's fantasy," Jai told him sadly, smoothing his sweaty hair back from his head.

"Tonight you're mine," George said with some dignity. "A guy who will take care of me. And make me smile."

Jai chuckled, the sound rumbling through the tent like thunder, and George rested his head against Jai's chest.

The next thing Jai knew it was morning, and George was snoring softly, huddled under the fleece still but not shivering.

Jai tested his forehead and while it was clammy, it wasn't burning up.

Good. His new friend was feeling better.

After quickly dressing so he could run to the nearby bathroom, Jai resurrected the fire and started boiling water for soup and hot chocolate. He made a coffee mug of chocolate for himself and a small thermos of broth, which he planned to take inside the tent. Just as he was twisting the cap, he heard George call his name in a rather small voice.

"Yes?"

He turned around and saw George, poking his head out.

"I need help to the head, man. Can you get me some sweats from my car?"

Jai grunted, squatted down at the tent's entrance and scooped him up, fleece blanket and all. He was not a small man, but still, no more heavier than he had been the day before.

"This is so embarrassing," George mumbled, but that didn't stop him from wrapping his arms around Jai's neck and resting his head against his shoulder.

"There is nobody awake," Jai said. "The campground is not full this time of year."

"That's cause it's fucking freezing," George muttered. "What brought you out here?"

"It was a place to come where my boss and his boyfriend didn't have to fuss over me, one that did not look like my apartment."

George gave a short laugh. "I was recovering from a breakup."

"Bad?"

A shrug and a bitter sound. "Stupid."

"What is stupid about it?"

"I said exclusive, and he said threesome. I said no way, and he said, 'Fine, Gary and I will find someone else.' And I said, 'Gary?'"

Jai couldn't help it--he laughed. Full fledged, from his stomach--from his toes, if the truth be known. "That is too bad. You thought he was your man?"

"I thought we were at least on the same page," George muttered dispiritedly. "I figured I'd come camping, since it was something Harvey never wanted to do--"

"You were dating a man named Harvey?"

"Don't start."

"No, no--I think it is fine you were dating a man named Harvey who wanted to have a threesome with Gary. So it would be Gary, Harvey, and George."

George groaned into his shoulder. "We can't all be giant Russians named Jai!"

"Which is probably a good thing," Jai said, to calm his ruffled feathers. "We are here. It is freezing in there--can you make it to the toilet alone or--"

"No," George muttered. He was shivering already.

It was strangely intimate, moving the blanket up to his shoulders and stripping his boxer shorts down. Jai left him alone for an appropriate time and returned to help him to the sink. When he was done, he scooped George up in his arms again, wrapped tight in fleece and took him to the tent. George was still tunneling into the sleeping bag when Jai appeared again with the broth.

George drank it gratefully. "You're really good at this. I think you were wasted as mob muscle."

"Possibly, but I am a very good mechanic."

"Do you like your boss better?"

"Yes. He is a good man. I have been helplessly in love with his boyfriend for over a year, and he has been nothing but kind."

George choked on his chicken broth. "In love with--"

Jai shrugged, used to it by now. "He is... small. And perfect. And I like yellow hair, like yours. And..." He frowned, not sure he could say this right. "He needs Ace. Like I need oxygen and large sized boots. I would very much like to be needed like that. But I was too late for Sonny."

Jai was sitting cross-legged on top of the sleeping bags as George sat up inside his end. George reached out then, and stroked his hand gently. "It's good to be needed," he said softly.

Jai shrugged. "I have always been the biggest, and the strongest. I've always had the scariest smile. My friends, they have hidden behind me, and my lovers have depended on me for protection--and for pleasure. It is a thing I am good at." He frowned. "Fixing cars too. Which makes me needed again." Suddenly he smiled. "I will work on your car while you rest. That way it will not die after you decide to live."

George nodded and put the lid back on the thermos. "I can't stop you," he sighed. "Maybe someday you'll find somebody you need as much as they need you."

Jai grunted. "I would not like that. It sounds terrifying. I think it's why I've had such a hard time finding a man as it is. Who wants to need somebody who could break them like a twig?"

"But won't," George said, yawning. "It's the won't that's very important. Don't go yet. Stay there."

"Why? What am I doing?"

"I need you here while I fall asleep. I'm sick and I'm sad, and I would have been all alone and freezing to death at the lake's edge if you hadn't stepped up. Just sit here and let me need you."

Jai grunted and made himself comfortable on his side. George curled up into the shelter of his body again, and Jai, good and settled now, pulled out his phone so he could play a game. George's breath settled, and he was asleep soon enough, but still, Jai didn't move.

George said he needed Jai.

Even for this moment, while George was recovering from what had apparently been the mother of all stomach bugs, it was a nice thing.

Jai would lay there and keep George warm and appreciate it while it lasted.

Jai Likes Him

Okay--

So I finished the SCB (Shitty Craft Book) which I have been working on for two weeks. It's twelve a.m., and I don't want to start my next novel until tomorrow. (ETA--I didn't finish this last night, so now it's 11:30 on Halloween night, and I wanted to give you guys a treat!)

And yesterday was sort of boring, but today was sort of busy.

So where does that leave me?

FANFIC!

Or Ficlet, really.

This one is sort of a fan favorite that I don't really want to give a full novel to--but who, I think, deserves some screen time. (Mostly because Parker and Jason whine a lot, and I love them.)

So, in Hiding the Moon, we find out a teeny bit more about Jai's personal life. Jai is Ace Atchison's employee, and he's well over six-feet tall, has a shaved head, a goatee, and a really disturbing smile. While he's rooting through his crappy Toyota for a stud finder so he can spot landmines, he reveals that he's seeing somebody-- but, "He's married, and I do not like him."

Jai is lying.

On all counts.

But then, he really doesn't know what to do with George.

*  *  *

Jai actually loved camping.

Originally he'd just found the gear at a rummage sale, and given that he'd only lived in his tiny apartment for a few months at the time, and Ace and Sonny weren't really paying him on the same scale as his former employer, the mob boss, he thought a plan B for a place to live would be a good idea.

Then he had it, and Ace and Sonny started giving him days off, and he didn't know what to do.

He enjoyed going to their place for movies sometimes, but not too much.  Too small, too much emotion, too much... Sonny.

He half-hated himself for his badly hidden torch for Sonny. Ace knew--Jai could tell. Every now and then, Jai would think about petting Sonny's yellow hair, just to feel it, but he would catch Ace regarding him, eyebrows raised in that handsome country-boy face, and Jai's cheeks would burn.

Ace knew, but he trusted Jai.

Jai, who had once fucked his way through an entire male brothel and left the boys panting and exhausted and done, had been forced to just stand there, next to someone who made him protective as a bear over a cub, and watch him be in love with another man.

At least Ace was worthy.

If Jai had any doubts, they'd been erased after Ace had killed the guy who'd attacked Sonny at their last race.

Dammit.

Jai would have killed him no problem--but for Ace, with his damned sense of chivalry and fair play to commit that kind of murder, well, that was true love right there.

So it was hard for Jai to go over to their place and watch movies. Finally, he decided fuck it! He had the camping gear. If nothing else he could sleep somewhere the walls weren't closing in.

He had a choice--mountains or ocean--and he picked mountains.

He was fairly competent and not a moron. He bought broken in boots, wore worn jeans, a sweatshirt he didn't mind getting dirty, and some fleece, and reserved a campsite by Lake Tehachapi.

He grabbed an ice chest, some beers, some hot dogs, and even remembered some sticks, as well as some tinned soup and the little camp stove and pot set that had come with his tent, bag, and the big egg crate meant to cushion his big body from the rocks.

Oh my God.

It was almost a science.

He even remembered a fishing pole.

HIs grandfather had taught him fishing, back in the Ukraine when he'd been a boy, before the gang, the recruitment, and the plane ticket to America that he'd spent twenty years working off before his boss decided he'd be better off with Ace and Sonny.

He was pretty sure his boss had been a murderer, and definitely a motherfucker, but Jai couldn't be mad at him.

Ace and Sonny's was not a bad place for someone like Jai.

He no longer had to break people's legs, but he didn't feel comfortable looking for a legitimate job with anybody else.

And look at him-- camping!

He was actually quite content.

He set up camp under the trees, enjoying the coolness of the mountains, and made himself a sandwich as soon as he arrived. Then he set off toward the lake, pole over his shoulder, tackle box in one hand, camp stool under his arm.

He didn't expect to catch anything, really, but he remembered that fishing had been relaxing, and nobody ever accused you of sitting and staring into space.

It was like fishing was a get-out-of-relaxing-free card.

So there he was, worm wriggling somewhere in the muddy waters of the lake, enjoying the sound of other campers bouncing off the surface, when the bushes rustled behind him.

And a water buffalo stampeded out.

Not really a water buffalo--a big young man, in his late twenties maybe, wearing jeans and a T-shirt and tennis shoes.

His face was almost green, and he staggered to the water and fell to his knees, retching a weak fluid into the lake.

He was so close Jai just had to lean over a little from his camp stool to rub the poor man's back.

He waited until the vomiting was done, and then reeled in his hook.

Worm was gone. Pity. With that mess in the lake, it wasn't like any fish were going to swim near for a good couple of days.

"You are okay?" Jai asked, mildly curious.

"No," the poor man groaned, collapsing on his stomach, thankfully a few feet to the right of the mess. "I'm not okay. God."

"Did you drink too much?"

"No! I was fine. Set up my site, feeling good. Then suddenly." He groaned and rolled to his side, holding his hands around his stomach. "Not," he finished, after it became clear he didn't have the strength to throw up again.

Jai was left in a quandary.

The man--blond hair, pale face, tall and rangy--looked as though normally he could care for himself.

Normally.

But not now.

Now he was lying in the dampness of the weeds at the edge of the lake, shivering, and not really wearing enough clothes even if they hadn't been wet.

Shit.

A year ago, and he would have gotten up and walked away.

But not now.

Not after being with Ace and Sonny for the past months. Not after Alba thought of him as a hero. And Sonny thought of him as a friend. And Ace trusted him.

Again, shit.

He stood and folded up his little camp stool, slinging it over his back with the strap, then grabbed the towel he'd brought just in case he'd gotten wet. He wrapped the towel around the man--tall, yes, but Jai was nearly six-eight--and then lifted him in his arms. He gave a thought for the fishing rod and the box and decided to come back for them.

"Your tent or mine," he asked brutally.

The young man--and his face looked really young this close--squinted at him. "I'm in the bed of my truck," he mumbled.

"This is not warm enough," Jai decided. "I have a four-man tent. And blankets. Come."

It's not like he had any choice. He was weak as a kitten. He didn't even struggle as Jai carted him the distance back to his campsite.

He did mumble, "Hey, what're you--"

"There is vomit on your clothes, and mud," Jai muttered as he stripped the jeans off and the tennis shoes with them. He left the underwear but took off the T-shirt with the soiled sweatshirt, and threw  the outer clothes outside the tent, all the better to rinse them off in the lake. "Will you throw up again?"

To his credit, the man thought about it. "No. Stomach cramps gone. I'd already lost most of  it in my campground. I just wanted to... God. Rinse off."

"Mm." Jai sat the man down on a bare spot on the tent floor, at the apron.  "Stay there. I'll be back."

He had no warm water, which was a pity. He did have a pot full of cold water set up on the camp stove for heating, both for hot chocolate and to use in the tub to wash dishes. He turned the heat on, grabbed a water bottle and a cloth and went back to the tent.

The man was sitting where Jai had left him, legs sprawled in front of him, shoulders slumped dejectedly, shivering in the cool of the shade and mountain air.

Poor man. "Here." Jai dumped some water on the cloth and handed it to him. "Wash what needs to be washed." He handed the man the water bottle. "Rinse and spit if you need to. I will be building a fire."

He nodded, and smiled weakly. Jai noted that he had a sort of narrow face, with a chin in a point, and cheekbones that weren't wide enough to make him fox-faced like Sonny. Still, it was a pleasant face--or would be if it wasn't waxy and pale.

"Thank you," the man rasped.

"Your campsite? The one with the truck?"

"Forty-two."

"Mm... the keys are in the vehicle? Do not worry--I shall simply move it here. Otherwise, you have nothing else to wear."

That weak nod, and Jai felt a surge of gratitude that he had been the one to pick this stranger up and put him in his tent. Otherwise, the poor man was a ripe target for thieves and murderers and mob enforcers without Jai's developing sense of conscience.

A half-an-hour later, he had found the campsite and repacked the man's gear in the bed of his battered, poorly maintained F-150 before moving it behind his own Toyota. Then he'd started building the fire in the pit, carefully, using wood that was seasoned but not too sappy. He'd brought some of his own--a bag of kindling and some logs from the local camp store--and it took very little time before the warmth from the fire pit infused the little camp space with some merriness and light.

And blessed warmth.

Jai walked to the tent and stood at the zipped up door, uncharacteristically tentative.

"Little puking man, are you still in there?"

"Mm.. Yes. Come in."

Jai had set up his bedroll by unrolling the queen-sized egg crate and then putting two full-sized bags zipped together, on top of it. They were made especially for someone tall, like he was, and he figured that way, he would have all the room he needed.

His little man was huddled inside the sleeping bags, on the edge, shivering.

"You are still cold?"

"Y-y-y..."

"Do not hurt yourself. I have some fleece blankets here." He pulled them out from under the foot of the sleeping bag. "I'm going to put these in with you, yes?"

The man made a little mewling sound when Jai unzipped his side of the sleeping bag, and it was no wonder. He was burning up. Jai wrapped him in the fleece quickly and then zipped up the bag again, squatting and holding his hand to the man's forehead.

"I have some medicine for this. You can keep it down, yes?"

The man nodded, still shivering.

"You'd better. Your gear is very much better quality than mine. You throw up in my bag, I shall sleep in yours."

To his surprise the poor guy smiled. "You're funny. I feel like shit and you're funny. It's like a gift. What's your name."

"Jai. Like 'Hello, my name is Jai.'"

Another smile. "George. Like my parents couldn't think of a better name, so they called me George."

Jai wrinkled his nose. "George sounds like someone who never gets laid. That is a pity."

George let out a dry rasp of a laugh. "It is indeed." He closed his eyes then and sank into his own misery, and Jai went to fetch him some ibuprofen from his car.

Jai made himself dinner using a soup packet and warm water. He'd been planning on hot dogs, but after cleaning up after George he found the whole idea unpleasant.

He ate his soup, cleaned up, and sat on his chair for a while, contemplated the stars and the embers, and feeling surprisingly at peace.

Until the nuisance in the tent had to have a say.

"Jai?"

"Yes?"

"It's sort of unnerving, you sitting out there all quiet. Can you... I don't know. Put on some songs or something? Or talk to me?"

Jai grunted. He had no boombox and he did not feel like talking.

But the poor man in the tent--George--was sad and miserable, and Jai was starting to feel obliged.

"Your truck?" he asked.

"Yes?"

"It's awful.  Who maintains it for you?"

"I change my own oil--"

Jai grunted.  "I work for a garage. T hey would make that vehicle run so much better. You are no good with cars. What are you good with?"

"Patients," George said promptly. "I'm a nurse."

Jai felt a moment's disappointment. "That is too bad. You are entirely too nice a person to be my friend. Why did you pick that profession?"

"Cause I was a shitty human being as an adolescent, and once I survived and saw how shitty I was, I thought I sort of needed to pay it back."

Jai grunted, immeasurably cheered. "Did you drink? Do drugs? Steal cars?"

"No. I was just really bitchy to my family--wow, you have a low bar."

Jai slumped in his camp chair again. "My family would understand those other things. Being bitch to them would get you killed."

He looked up at the sky, so vast and enormous.  It was like all that darkness divided him and his appealing lost puppy George.

Silly thought.

Lost puppy George could have a family or a girl friend for all Jai knew.

"George, do you have a girlfriend?"

"No, Jai. I'm gay."

Jai's eyes traveled to the embers banking in the fire pit. So much closer. So much warmer. So much promise.

"That is good."

"Why?"  George sounded tired, as though the conversation had wiped him out.

"Because you are pretty, and I like yellow hair, and you are not so good I cannot touch you. But later. When you are not sick and sad."

"Wow."

"You are scared now?"

"Sure. Watch me run."

Jai chuckled. "After you can walk. Goodnight, George. I'll be in shortly. Do not panic. I will sleep in shorts and a T-shirt so I don't terrify you. We will stay warm together."

George's soft snort could be heard through the fabric walls of the tent. "You're not that scary," he mumbled, but Jai only smiled.

When George saw him in the daylight, naked, he'd be scared.

But maybe he'd also be excited.

And maybe Jai would find out.

Hiding the Moon, Part 12

 So all-- I've got a post about Coastal tomorrow, I think, but I just finished this, so you're gonna get this right now.

This is the prologue to A Few Good Fish, which I just submitted, and it's also where I'm going to leave the Burton and Ernie story-- which is what I'm going to work on right now.

So, essentially, this is there the two stories meet, and it's from Ernie's POV, and if you've enjoyed this, please read Fish Out of Water and Red Fish, Dead Fish, which both got some honors from the Paranormal Romance Guild, (Thanks guys!) and also read Racing for the Sun. 

And, of course, the full work, Hiding the Moon which should be out shortly after A Few Good Fish. 

Thanks for following along everybody-- and hey--I think I need to write some fanfic next time. I, uh, was supposed to be writing a WHOLE OTHER BOOK right now!



Burton and Ernie in the Desert

Ernie James Caufield looked around the little non-town of Victoriana with a feeling of intense joy. The place was mostly a gas station with a fast food place on one side of the highway and a tiny garage with a house for the owners on the other. Desert surrounded it, and even in the encroaching fall the landscape was flat and unexciting with saguaro and creosote bushes for miles.

But for Ernie, this was the best place on earth.

“Really?” He turned toward Burton, body practically thrumming with excitement. “I’m staying here?”

Burton arched a suspicious eyebrow and said nothing.

“It is, right? I mean that house—it’s got an add on to it. Like, new. Even the siding is new. That’s your place, right?”

Burton frowned. “How would you know that?”

Ernie grinned, unrepentant. “I heard you talking to Ace. He’s nice. Your voice said so.”

Burton’s frown intensified. “You were supposed to be asleep.”

Ernie bit his lip shyly. He had been, until he’d heard Burton talking next to him. He didn’t need the gift to reckon Lee was uncomfortable with where their relationship had gone so quickly.

Well, not that Ernie wasn’t slutty as hell on any given day, but the thing that had bloomed between him and Lee was based solely on the fact that when they looked at each other and touched, the world stopped spinning, and that included Ernie’s ever questing, witchy trouble-magnet of a brain.

Ernie didn’t need to be slutty anymore. He’d found the safety he’d been looking for his entire life.

“Safety” just didn’t know it yet.

“I was mostly asleep,” Ernie soothed. “You like Ace.”

Burton let out a sigh. “Yeah. Ace is good people. Not educated, mind you, so—”

“He’s smart though,” Ernie said sunnily. Yeah, he’d read that much from the voice on the other end of the phone. That and the fact that Burton was scary smart, and he’d never be able to tolerate someone not scary smart like he was. But he was also—whether he knew it or not—intuitive, in the same way Ernie was intuitive, but not nearly as powerful.

Burton could see through what people were supposed to be and right into what they were. He’d watched Ernie for days when he should have just done his job and shot. Ernie was still walking around converting oxygen because Burton had seen there was more to Ernie than a brainless party boy who liked to make donuts.

“Yeah, he’s smart.” Burton let out a sigh. “Look kid—”

“You know my name.” Ernie knew all the tricks to making somebody not important. Calling him “kid” was just one, just like Ernie had called Burton "Cruller" in those first hours because... God. Look at him. Wasn't like he wasn't going to have an impact as it was.

“Ernie…” And it came out like a plea, just like it had in the hotel room they’d shared—in the bed they’d shared not hours ago.

“Yeah Lee?” Ernie said sweetly.

“I need to go away—you understand—”

“Under cover.” Ernie wasn’t stupid either. “The guy who put the hit out on me—he’s bad news—”

“And he’s legit. Like, a real guy in the real military and he wanted you dead. I need to find a way to work for him so I know why. This isn’t… the hit out on you should never have happened—”

“You’re not just saving me,” Ernie said. “You’re saving anybody who carried out orders in good faith.”

Burton started a grimace, but it came out a look of complete tenderness. “You’re so… so very wise.” Like he couldn’t help himself, he reached out and cupped Ernie’s cheek. “God… so pretty.” For a moment his muscles tensed, like he was going to pull his hand back, but Ernie licked his lips, on purpose, knowing it would make him look soft and vulnerable, and wanting Burton to kiss him at least one more time before he fled.

Burton didn’t disappoint him. He leaned forward, claiming Ernie’s mouth with his own, and Ernie opened for him, as soft and as giving as he knew how to be.

He knew a lot. He was a sexual genius, mostly, and it took Burton a whole thirty seconds before he was groaning into Ernie’s mouth and trying to haul him across the center island of the SUV they were sitting in.

Ernie would have gone. Ernie would have shucked his jeans and sat on Burton’s cock if that’s what it would take to get Burton to commit, but the damned SUV was too small and Burton smacked his elbow on the steering wheel in mid-Ernie-maul-maneuver.

“Ouch!” He jerked back, letting Ernie go and looking damned embarrassed. “Dammit. Why can’t I… it’s weird what you do to me, kid.”

“Ernie,” Ernie whispered throatily. “Don’t go. Stay here. We can have all the sex you want until it doesn’t seem so strange anymore that you want me. You can quit being an assassin super black-ops guy and be my guy. Nobody will even know our names.”

He pulled in a quick breath, surprised at himself. That’s not what he’d intended to come out of his mouth at all, even a little.

Burton was looking torn as a man could get. “Ernie… I… even if I come back I might not be the guy for—”

Ernie pulled away and opened his door. “Let’s go meet Ace and Sonny,” he said, not wanting to hear it. At least when Burton was talking to his friend, Ernie wouldn’t have to hear him lie—not to himself and not to Ernie. “Will you at least be able to come visit over holidays?” he asked after he’d slid out.

Burton stopped and grabbed the duffel of clothes they’d bought Ernie on their way from Albuquerque. They’d had to leave Ernie’s little apartment, with his cats and everything, without stopping to even get clothes. Burton had called the super and made arrangements for the cats—even the strays that would just show up unbidden—and Ernie didn’t even want to know what a colossal pain in the ass tying up that loose end had been.

But Burton had done it for him. It wasn’t even part of his job, just like being Ernie’s savior wasn’t part of his job, and Ernie didn’t want to think of the prices Lee Burton had paid for stepping out of himself in order to successfully not kill Ernie James Caulfield’s scrawny psychic ass.

But he had. And he seemed to be willing to pay any price needed to keep Ernie as happy as possible considering he was a target or a dead man or worse.

Ernie was going to just keep on hoping the man would recognize that what they shared in the hotel room on the way here didn’t happen every time two men met, fell into each other’s eyes, and touched each other’s bare skin.

“No,” Burton said, sighing. “No, I won’t see you for Thanksgiving. Do you have the phone I bought you?”

Ernie nodded. “Yeah.” Clean, untraceable. It had been preloaded with Ace’s number, Sonny’s number, and Burton’s number.

The end.

“I’ll text you when I can.”

Ernie brightened. “I’ll text you when you can’t.”

Lee clapped his hands over his eyes. “Kid—”

“Ernie.”

“Ernie—”

“Don’t worry. Once you start thinking about me, I’ll fill in the gaps in the conversation just fine.” That wasn’t really how the gift worked, except Ernie was pretty sure he’d be just as connected to Burton from however far away as he was now.

“That, uh, actually makes me a little itchy…” Burton said, slamming his door in a fit of what was probably pique.

Ernie smiled, so relieved he couldn’t even let Burton piss on his parade. “It shouldn’t. You just have to tell the truth. To yourself. Especially to yourself.”

Burton’s low moan reassured Ernie to no end. It meant the man believed him. Took him seriously. Would work hard to be as truthful as possible.

Ernie already knew what Burton felt for him. He could wait until Burton figured it out in his own head.



Ace was exactly what Ernie expected except way better looking, but Sonny was not.

For one thing, Burton had figured Sonny to be spelled with a “u” and Sonny to be a she, which just went to show you that sometimes the gift was a reliable way to get information and sometimes it was a big fat nuisance that overloaded Ernie’s synapses and made him absolute garbage at dealing with the rest of the human race like a sane person.

Ace was a solid guy with a chest like a brick wall and arms built like pistons—he had hazel brown eyes and a mouth that could be cruel, Ernie supposed but when he shook Ace’s hand all he felt was decent guy trying to live a decent life.

There was a current of darkness, but everybody had that. This guy had just negotiated his current and decided how it flowed was all.

Sonny was much smaller, muscular too but in the whip thin way of someone who was all activity and nerves and not so much effort. He had blond hair—almost pretty—and a fox-pointed, but narrow face.

His darkness was like a box, and Sonny would rabbit into his box and bound out even as they were talking. The three-billionth time Sonny rabbited into the dark box in his soul, Ernie let out a rough sigh and grabbed his arm.

“I’m not here to take him away from you,” Ernie said, exasperated. “As if anybody could. Now calm down, you’re making Burton jumpy.”

Sonny gave a long, slow blink with his enormous blue-gray eyes and some of the rabbit jumped out of him. “Yeah. Sure.” He retreated behind Ace then, touching him at the shoulder, then scooped up the tiny dog yapping at his feet. The dog shut up and Ernie had a chance to look around their little house.

And it was little. The little kitchen opened up into a little dining room with a small table, which in turn opened up into a little living room. There were three doors, one on each open side. The bathroom—obviously, since Ernie could see it, a bedroom, probably Sonny and Ace’s, and a newly pained porthole to what was obviously Burton’s personal space.

“Thank you, Ace and Sonny, for letting me stay here,” Ernie said with a yawn. He wasn’t usually awake in the day. “I’ll get up and you can show me how to earn my keep, okay? But I have to nap and say goodbye to Burton.”

With that he grabbed Burton’s hand and dragged him away from their surprised host and through the door to Burton’s space.

Ernie looked around carefully once they were there, biting his lip.

“He made this for you,” he said, awe apparent. “Like… like he loves you. Like a friend—cause he’s romantically attached to Sonny which must be hard because Sonny’s not easy, but look.”

Burton looked around, saw what Ernie did. The simplicity of the room and the small serviceable attached bathroom, the nice queen-sized bed with the good mattress and a serviceable, high-quality quilt in a warm tan that matched the curtains, the wood paneling that matched the dresser. Ernie moved toward it and picked up a piece of driftwood sanded into a ball until it gleamed. There were a couple of other doo-dads there—a glass boat from San Diego, a snow globe from Tahoe, a small picture at the Chandelier Tree.

“Ace and Sonny,” Burton said quietly. “They go on vacations now and then, and they bring back things. Something for Alba their receptionist at the garage, something for Jai, their employee, something for Kat, a girl Ace sort of adopted who’s living with Ace’s parents, and something for me. Every time.”

“It makes them really happy to bring stuff home for you guys,” Ernie said easily. “It’s… nice. You brought me to a nice place. This is your…” He looked around, feeling a sort of peace here.

“Haven,” Burton said softly.

“Church,” Ernie said, naming it for what it was. “When you go out and do the things you have to, you’re thinking about Ace and Sonny, and protecting them.”

Burton shrugged. “Somebody’s got to.”

Ernie nodded. “So now you’re protecting me here too.”

“Somebody’s got to,” Burton rasped, and Ernie heard the need.

He turned and rushed into Burton’s arms, holding him tight. “Be careful,” he begged softly. “Come back. Become a part of this, of these people you love. They’re here for you.”

“I’m a—”

“A man.” Ernie tilted his face up and took Burton’s kiss like it was a given. Ernie knew it wasn’t. But he’d lost himself already. Burton was going to do dangerous things to try to bring the people behind Ernie’s contract to justice, but afterwards, Ernie was going to hope for Burton by his side.

Burton ripped away from the kiss like he was gulping air.

“Kid—”

“Ernie.”

“Ernie…” His voice ached with tenderness. “You and me, we’re not over.”

Ernie smiled. “At last, he sees.”

Burton laughed gruffly. “Okay—I’ve got to—”

And then, dammit, the goddamned shining hit Ernie right in the brain. “You’ve got to protect them too,” he said, his voice remote.

“Ace and Sonny?”

“They’re far away, and they’re tied into this and…” Ernie sighed. “Broken. One of them is broken. Tiny little pieces, a shattered fish in a bowl of refracted light. A shark who loves him. And they’re coming. You’ll know them. You’ll protect them. They’ll need you.”

Burton blinked. “I, uh…”

Oh, Goddammit. Ernie liked these people, the tough, battered one and the slick one in the suit. He couldn’t see their faces, but he could feel their decency, even through the shining. He rose to his tiptoes and kissed Burton’s cheek. “Come back to me,” he said simply.

Because that’s what you did when you loved a force of nature. You let him go be a force for good.

Burton left and Ernie fell onto the bed dispiritedly. He was crying, because his heart was on his sleeve, would always be on his sleeve had never not been on his sleeve.

He knew the door opened, and the small dog bounded on the bed and licked his face, but it wasn’t until he felt the tentative hand in his hair that he realized he might have, for once, truly landed someplace that would feel like home.

“Don’t mind Duke,” Sonny Daye said, voice matter of fact. “He knows you’re sad. I’m just gonna leave him here to keep you company while me and Ace go open the garage. You feel free to eat what you wanna—we’ll go shopping for you later, and Ace says that’s fine if you help with paperwork and stuff and—”

Ernie rolled over and grabbed Sonny’s hand. “Sonny Daye?”

“Yessir?”

“We’re friends already. Don’t worry about making me happy. Burton wouldn’t have brought me here if it wasn’t a good place. I’m comfortable. I get up around six or seven. Want me to make dinner?”

Sonny smiled a little. “That would be kind.”

“Okay then. Don’t worry. I’ll get along here just fine.”

Sonny stood and left and Ernie yawned and sank back down into the bed. In his pocket, his phone buzzed.

Was damned hard leaving you, kid. Be good until I get back.



Yeah. Until the fish and the shark got here, it was gonna be okay.

Hiding the Moon, Part 11

I am actually finishing up  Fish Out of Water 3 (Road Fish) and I'm doing Avengers Swag Assemble too. (AKA, Amy's little sweatshop.)  So, pretty busy weekend for a woman who didn't go anywhere--but Burton and Ernie are about in the place where I'm wrapping them up and dropping them off at the beginning of Fish. Then I'm writing the whole novella and releasing it right after Fish in the fall.

So that's actually sort of cool.

But in the meantime, let's see what they're up to now...


Hiding the Moon, Part 11

Burton cleaned up the last of the Chinese food at around two in the morning. Ernie helped him--well, helped by licking some of it off his chest--and then they ended up in bed again, and this time when Burton fell back against the rumpled sheets, he felt well and truly done.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd fucked himself out like that--but he obviously had been missing something in the meantime.

"What are you thinking?" Ernie asked, snuggling in against his chest. "I'm thinking I wish I'd charged my phone--I need to read something right now. It's reading time, if I'm not out at the club, you know?"

"Mmm..." Burton's phone had a reading app. "What do you like?"

Ernie's chuckle was so wicked. "Action adventure and spy stuff."

Burton pulled it up for him and paused, phone in mid air.

"You want the rest of my story," Ernie said softly.

"Please. I need to know what I'm dealing with here."

Ernie chuffed out air. "Whatever I was supposed to be doing, I failed. I mean, you'd think a ranking officer would understand, right?"

"What didn't they get?"

"That good and bad are subjective!"

Burton blinked. "That's pretty fucking obvious, actually."

"Right? But they would ask me to talk to a guy and tell them if he was good or bad. I asked them what sort of criteria they wanted--because I'm not a moron! And they said, 'Just good or bad, son.'  So, well, I'd tell them. Exec;t... I guess I thought 'good' was someone who wouldn't kill without cause."

Burton took a quick breath. "That's my general definition too. Someone who's not cruel. Someone who's kind to all people not just special friends." He didn't mention racism--he didn't have to, he figured, because Ernie patted his chest unhappily, like he was apologizing for something.

Hell, wasn't Ernie's fault.

And this other thing didn't seem to be either.

"That's what I thought," Ernie said, voice dropping. "But they wanted someone who would... you know. Follow rules. Regardless. So, like..."

Burton's heart turned cold and pumped ice through all his veins. "So like, someone who would look at a picture of a clueless club kid who fed every stray cat in town and take him out without asking why."

Ernie shrugged. "And I could have told them that--but they kept saying they wanted someone who could be molded into the perfect soldier. Eventually, every man I shook hands with gave me a sweat-screaming, wet the bed nightmare. One day they just... just took me to Albuquerque. I have no idea even why that city, although it wasn't so bad, really."

"Maybe they thought the same thing you would," Burton said thoughtfully. "Maybe they thought it would be a place where not too many voices were in your head."

"Well they were fuckin' wrong," Ernie said unhappily. "They gave me money for my education, a year's worth of cash in the bank and an honorable discharge. I... I have no idea what happened next, but... but I'm telling you, some of the men I had to assess..." He shuddered.

"Any names stick out?" Burton had seen a lot of good men in the military. But he'd seen the few bad apples, too. The ones who came to the states and beat up their wives and made the news with a lot of blood on their hands. They weren't his job--weren't his business--but sometimes he really wished they were.

"This one guy..." Ernie sighed. "Had red hair and this ugly knife scar across his face--"

Burton sucked in his breath. "Galway," he muttered.

"Yeah. Him. Anyway--he liked hurting people. And when I told my CO that, he promoted the guy. Another guy named Owens who... God, the inside of his head was like a dirty toilet. And a bunch more."

Oh hell.

"Ernie," Burton said, his voice dropping to a dangerous quiet.

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to call some friends in the morning. Some people who will take you in, and not ask questions, and be kind to you. But I need you to do me a favor."

"Why can't I stay with you?"

Burton remembered Jason's warning that he was on his own. "Because I"m about to find out how to join this unit. You wouldn't happen to remember your CO's name, would you?"

"Commander Karl Lacey," Ernie said promptly. "But you're... what? What branch are you?"

"Multi jurisdictional covert operations." Burton kept his voice bland, and Ernie rolled his eyes.

"Black ops. I'm not stupid."

"You are if you mention me to anybody but my friends in So-Cal."

Ernie sighed. "You're going to... what? Infiltrate the enemy? Can you do that?"

Burton shrugged, feeling sleep pull at him. "It's my job," he said, yawning.

"Here. Give me your phone--"

"Only that app," Burton said, unworried. Yeah, his phone could be a scary place--if he hadn't locked everything down but the entertainment apps.

Ernie snorted. "I'm not stupid. I don't want you to have to kill me for real."

"For real?"

Ernie snuggled back into his arms. "Didn't you tell your handler I was dead?"

"I said I walked away--"

"But he assumed. No, that's fine. I can be dead.  As long as I can read this book on your phone and maybe play Two Dots."

"All the scary stuff is locked," Burton said with a yawn.

"Yeah. I know. But I'm not going to tempt fate." Ernie smiled, so sweetly Burton's heart about broke. "I mean, we've had this night. How much better can my life get?"

He started reading then, and Lee Burton, who trusted nobody, yawned and fell asleep with Ernie on his chest.

He woke up a few hours later, and Ernie was right where Lee had left him, phone off and shoved under the pillow. His mouth was parted just a little and he was snoring softly.

Burton paused and stroked his hair from his face. "Okay my boy, I'm going to find a place for you to be safe for a while. If I'm any sort of person at all, I'll find you a home before this is over, just so you know."

"You're my home," Ernie mumbled. "Two more hours, Burton. T hen we'll be on the run."

Burton didn't say anything, thinking about how this kid needed some peace and Burton was the last person to give him that. Thinking about how he was going to just leave the kid with strangers and run back into an operation where he might not talk to anybody for months.

Thinking about how this kid deserved so much more than just a wonderful night and a promise that Burton might not be able to keep.

He figured he'd keep his promises to himself then, and maybe wouldn't voice any of them until he knew for sure what he could make come true.

With a sigh, he set his alarm for two more hours, but before he fell back asleep, he texted, Ace, I need a huge assed favor. Hear me out before you say yes.

When he woke up, he saw the message almost immediately.

Yes.

And that's why he'd trust Ernie with Ace Atchison, he thought giving thanks for his few good deeds. Because Ace had so much faith in him, that he'd die before he let Burton down.

Burton felt the same about Ace.

And now he felt the same about Ernie.