Happy 14th on the 15th, ZoomBoy

Me: What do you want for your birthday?

ZB: I got nothing. I'm fairly content.

Me: *pulls hair out*

*  *  *

Me: Do you want to be a ventriloquists dummy wearing Dad's lederhosen for Halloween?

ZB: No, I'd rather be Morty. All I have to wear is a yellow T-Shirt.

* * *

Me: Go boop your meep.

ZB: *pets his cat*

* * *

Me: That's great! You got a part in the play! What is it!

ZB: Two lines. Ten words. I'm Jim.

Me: Well, congratulations, Jim.  You'll do great!

ZB: I already memorized the lines!

* * *

Me: So, how was school?

ZB: Great! I saw two dogs humping on my way to the car! Want to see a picture?

* * *

ZB: How's politics today, Mom?

Me: Dismal.

ZB: I'll send you kitten memes. They help.

* * *

ZB: *picks up majestic gray floof*  Hey, Dewey--judged anything to death today?

Dewey: *cats*

ZB: Just remember--I feed you. That gives me extra points so you should let me live.

* * *

ZB: What's the difference between a starting line and a finish line?

Me: Oh dear god...

ZB: Well, one is where things begin and the other one is somewhere in Finland...

Me: *screams*

*  * *

Happy birthday, ZoomBoy. I've got a thousand anecdotes about you, a thousand wonderful quirky geeky hilarious conversations, a thousand moments where you made me laugh, made me think, or made me proud.

I love you bigger than sky and deeper than blue, my little man, my Cave Troll, my ZoomBoy. Keep doing you--there's not a soul on earth who could do it better.