Green's Hill-Amy Lane's Home - News

Friday, January 31, 2014

Pissers/Whizzers

Let's start with the pissers…

Pissers

*  Republicans in the Senate

*  People who say women can't write gay romance

* People who think any gay romance is porn.

* Stupid stalkers--the evil stupid kind, not the fun kind who pop up every now and then to say "Hi, Amy, I love you!" (To clarify?  Anyone I talk to on the net, know by name, or who has ever written me a fan letter is NOT on the pisser list!  I'm talking evil and stupid-- my fans, as far as I can tell, are AWESOME and AMAZING!  Those stalkers are on the whizzers list :-)

*  My dog, who keeps peeing in THE most inaccessible spot in my son's room

*  My cat, who is accusing me of something but lacks the opposable thumbs with which to draw up the indictment.

*  My kitchen table which accrues detritus at an astounding speed.

*  Time, because I have to travel on Tuesday and dammit, there's not enough time to do everything I need to!

*  Mate, because he can make a diet stick when I'm still on the, "Uhm, I have to input my caloric intake where?" stage.

*  The kids, because they never met an argument they couldn't embrace with all of their hearts and then share with the world.

*  Big T, for getting a job, going to school, having a life, and pretty much ensuring that I have to do the dishes again!  (How dare he!  The nerve!)

*  Milk, for disappearing from the refrigerator when the kids just walk by it!

*  Chocolate chip cookies, for being so damned good.

*  The dog, who, every now and then while camping out in my shirt will poke a paw right in the boob leaving me to gasp and catch my breath and not freak him out because he's still in there where he can do some serious damage.

*  The human body, for needing sleep.

*  My dragon for depriving me of sleep.

*  The rain, who only visited in teasing little touches but never gave us a fully satisfying water-fuck that California really needs.

Whizzers

*  Sinfully Sexy Books which is giving away an audio book of Making Promises.

*Prism Book Alliance which is giving away an e-book copy of the first three Triane's Son Books.

*  Mrs. Condit's, which is giving away a copy of Behind the Curtain.

*  The Jeep Diva, who liked Clear Water :-)

*  That I could prepare a blog post for all those places without my head exploding!  Seriously!  Go me!

*  That the stupid little dog is cuddly as well as homicidal and confused about house-training.

*  The picture I have as a header, which has absolutely NOTHING to do with ANYTHING on today's blog, but cracked me up anyway.

*  Zoomboy, who is telling psychopath jokes this week.  (What's a murderer's favorite road?  A psychopath!  Where do killers get their chainsaws?  Psy Co!  And so on.)

*   Squish, who is convinced that she has the feline version of parsel-tongue and that the cat spoke to her this morning.

*  Big T who does have job, a school, and a life, and is puzzled as to where his time goes!

*  Fun stalkers, who every now and then pop up and say "Hi, Amy!  I love you!"  but not in the scary way at all!

*  Mate, who is trying really hard to support me in my diet.  I just need to remember to wear the damned fitbit thing.  It helps.  Honestly!

*  Agnes Obel

*  German car commercials with wings.

*  DOBERHUAHUAS!

*  My cat, who still believes that the best cure for life is a quickie in the bathroom.

*  Chocolate chip cookies.  Because they are that good.

*  Mail order stores, for having my size available in stuff I can wear.

*  This list, which is making research for Beneath the Stain SO much fun!

*  My aqua aerobics instructors, who give me a reason to leave my computer three days a week!



Ciao!




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2 comments:

Carolyne Kleinman said...

Gentle hugs! Kudos for all of the above...maybe you can add "weird voices your children make" to the whizzers list...they all make them, and sometimes it's even funnier when it's in the LEAST expected place on Earth! Oh - and Hey Amy ! Love you!

ElaineG said...

Just have to say I TOTALLY agree on the whole "it's gonna RAIN!" bullshit forecast cause we got MIST! MIST!...drove by our lake in Mendo County, and wept....pisser status for sure.

Hey Amy! I LOVE you, not in a stalkerish way, but in an I ADMIRE EVERY-DAMN-WORD-SHE-WRITES way. But you knew that ;)

And if I wrote a pisser list it'd have literally every single moment from last week that didn't involve my son and my husband, the whole week! Awful. Thanks for brightening it.