Saturday, July 21, 2012
Yeah, sure, blame it on the sunspots...
So on the little, pain in the ass realm? Uhm, yeah. Not my set of days. Let's start with getting gas, shall we?
No, not stomach gas, although we have to keep telling Zoomboy it's not polite to fart on people, and it's REALLY not polite to keep making evening announcements about farting and then grunting to make them louder. I told him today that just because he was an eight year old boy that was no reason he had to be gross in front of ME. Why couldn't he just be gross around the other eight year old boys? His response was that Sam was nine. My response was that nine year old boys were gross too, and they could be gross together, but please, not in front of me.
He said fine, and then walked away farting, leaving me in his vapor trail.
Okay-- now let's talk about real gas, and the clusterfuck at the AM/PM. (BTW? For my story Do Over I originally set Engall's first death at the AM/PM. My editor's couldn't figure out what the official logo/name of the store was, so we settled for the Circle K. After all, Lynn told me soberly, "Strange things were afoot at the Circle K." Bill and Ted fans should now be doubled up in laughter, and I have done my job. Everybody else, carry on.)
Anyway, it took forever. The line of cars was not moving, and I had about to seconds worth of gas in my car. So finally, FINALLY a spot opens up and I find out why the line of cars was not moving. The stupid kiosk where you pay was not registering that you paid and you had to go inside. I went inside to pay, came out--now keep in mind, the kids are IN the car and it's 105 OUTSIDE the car--and started to pump gas. At six gallons, the pump stops. Just stops. NO reason. I go back inside and say, "Look--I've got kids in the car, and they're dying, can I just get my change and go?"
I get my change and go (only thing the clerks did right was just throwing that my way) and then go to the yarn store, where I realize my cash card is bye bye. Gone. NOt anywhere. Gone to visit my socks (next story)-- you know. Just gone. The next place was the yarn store, where I bought yarn to make Stanley's pop-your-cherry-red scarf. THAT was fun, and fortunately she took a check when I couldn't find my damned card, but still... *fume* Gah. Lost card. No gas. *funk* Blargh.
So, uhm, about the socks...has anybody seen this sock? Now see, isn't it pretty? I was knitting it for a friend of Mate's, whose wife was having a baby. I loved it, but it was taking FOREVER. An interesting thing has happened with this latest batch of kids. They have refused to grow out of my lap. I couldn't figure out why knitting and crocheting was not continuing at much pace at all, and then I realized it was because I had around 130 lbs. of grade schooler in my lap every time I sat. Now, I seem to have broken Chicken out of this habit by around the third grade, and Big T was just too damned big to add HIS mass to the equation. But with one kid on my lap I can knit or crochet. With TWO? Well, between that and the funked up angle of the couch which pinches a nerve in my shoulder, let's just say that sock took me a very long time.
So when it disappeared? Yeah. I was unhappy.
But that was okay, I figured. That was just fine. I had a half a sock already finished--you know, to complete the pair, and I would just simplify the lace pattern, so it was just the cuff, and then I could finish both socks in short order.
And then that disappeared.
I don't think the house ate them-- these were traveling projects. They just travelled beyond my purview, but the upshot is, it's taken me a month to knit a sock and a half and they've both jumped ship. I'm going to have to sit down with a bloody, gory, scary movie and another ball of yarn (I'm going with the idea that this one is cursed) and I'm going to sit down and knit two regular plain baby socks and hope the girl doesn't remember that I promised her lace. *sob* Then I'm going to finish Mary's blanket, and CHICKEN'S SWEATER WHICH I PROMISED HER, and THEN I'm going to make Stanley's pop-your-cherry-red scarf. And then it'll be time to knit for Christmas, and your guess is as good as mine. And don't even get me started about the shawl I wanted to wear to GRL so I could appear all sophisticated and shit. Alas. Not enough time to knit. Dudes... I know I've got twenty-five days to make a hard deadline, and I'm only 35K into a full length steampunk novel, but... I've gotta sit down and make some baby socks, STAT!
Okay. So, done kvetching about the small shit. Now I'm gonna remember why it IS small. And for cryin' in my soup, I'm gonna make some baby socks, dammit! *shakes head* And if you find my socks... be kind.
Oh-- and Big T just send me the following, for anyone left with the burning question Why Batman? I loved this btw-- good symbolic shit to know.