First of all-- MOTHERHOOD #WIN!!! Sam came to the party. Sam is Zoomboy's bestest best friend in the whole world. Sam is fun. Sam and Zoomboy play. I honestly wouldn't care if they leaned against the wall like potatoes--Sam made Zoomboy happy and all was right with my world!
For a little while at least.
Then I went back to school and gave a REALLY BITCHIN' Joseph McCarthy lecture linking the Communist Witch Trials with the Salem Witch trials... and one out of three classes listened. Of course, this lecture wasn't supposed to be quite so long. They had projects due today. Maybe five kids per class did their project. Many of them claimed they thought it was due Tuesday. I don't buy that. It was on the board. 'Rough Draft Due Tuesday', 'Project due Monday'. This was AFTER I changed it from being due Friday. They get a 10% discount for turning it in late, and after tomorrow, it's 50%, but... seriously. What in the hell is wrong with my Juniors? So having them blow off the lecture was sort of icing on the cake.
And then, in (take a guess!) second period...
The lecture was wrapping it's way to a tortuous end (and you have to know that I have class-interactive parts in the damned lecture--It's not just me talking, although in the past, I've actually gotten their attention this way. I DO ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'M TALKING ABOUT after all) when this group of hosers starts cracking up. I tell one of them to go outside and get himself together and he does, and then he gets back inside and I'm like "What in the hell?"
"Ms. Lane... Ms. Lane... no, no... listen! You've got to hear this! When Flipper here went to the bathroom, we put a tack in his chair, and when he came back and sat down... HE FLATTENED IT!"
Well, tomorrow I need to tell them that if Flipper HADN'T flattened the tack, it would have been considered 'assault' and written down as a possible suspension.
Today, three minutes before the bell rang, I had a surprise smirk. Sweartadog, didn't know it was coming. Couldn't have stopped it if I tried.
Suffice it to say, I didn't make it to the bell. That's okay. They weren't paying attention anyway.
But about self-esteem...
Saturday, before the party madness, before the emotional meltdown about being the world's suckiest mother, before all that bullshit, I was driving the little kids to gymnastic, about ready to stop at McDonalds, and generally wishing I wasn't up so early. (This was also before I discovered I left my wallet at home and called Mate to deliver McDonalds to North Highlands in order to keep Zoomboy from chronic meltdown--you know, when my brain shorted out and I became the world's suckiest mother.) Anyway, there I was, in a pleasant haze, and suddenly, Squishy Belle spoke up from the back of the car.
"Everybody likes me."
She grinned into the rearview mirror as she said it, and my first thought was, "Yup. Glad to see that little self-esteem problem managed to leave one member of my family alone."
"That's right, Squishy Belle--everybody likes you."
*ahhh* Well, at least she thinks I do a good job.