I'm having a terrible time resolving a central issue about Bitter Moon II that I thought I had resolved when I was writing the damned thing. It's SOOOOOO frustrating--because every time I ponder it, it makes me cry, and then I resolve it, and I cry some more, and then I think about changing it to the other way and then I'm happy but then I think about the resonance of the work as a whole and then I'M RIGHT BACK WHERE I STARTED.
Fucking book.
But beloved friends for helping me with it! Can I thank you enough? I think not. Thank you thank you thank you to Roxie, Eric, Needletart and Ceri for putting up with my incessant nagging... "Did you like that part? What didn't you like? I don't think I can change that for you. Would you still like me if..." And so on.
This lack of resolution is pretty strange for me--I'm usually such an 'artistic vision' person. I've been saying it for months--my artistic objectivity has been shot to shreds on this one, I'll have to rely on grit. Let's hope I don't get any in the book--that would be icky.
And now, to the non-insane portion of my blog (is there any of that?) I'd like to thank everyone for their good wishes! Mate and I went and saw a movie on Wednesday night--I've been recovering from that for the last two days. Good Goddesses need to go to bed early after their viciously exciting lives. And I'm still sort of reeling from a new edict from work (I still love my admin, but this one's gonna kill me) requiring that we call the parents of every kid who's failing our class and stating that LEAVING MESSAGES DOESN'T COUNT! I don't know if I can impress upon my admin how much a parent is willing to let anything coming from the high school go to voice mail when they see the caller i.d. come up, and the fact that our high school sends out as many pre-recorded messages as my two kids' high schools COMBINED doesn't help. There really is such a thing as over-communication, people. (And if you don't believe me, ask Jen. B--I left a comment on her blog last week that DEFINITELY qualifies.)
And hey--speaking of Jen B--THANKS, SWEETHEART!!! I won a romance book on her blog today--SQUEEEEEEEEEE.... free books! Considering how broke my entire family is about to be, I can only bounce up and down on my toes and squeal like a little girl. HUZZAHHH! It must be my week for it too--I won a subscription of BITCH magazine from Smart Bitches/Trashy Books--and seriously--can we say SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE some more? OMG--blogland knew it was my b-day and really came through, didn't it!!! (Of course all of your lovely comments would have been plenty--but that doesn't mean I'm not taking the books and the zine:-)
And other than that? It's soccer game tonight (only 3 of those left on Friday--hip hip HOOOR-FUCKING-RAY!!!) and Mate's company picnic tomorrow--with a fervent prayer for rain, because he has to bail on his softball team to take a friend to the airport and he doesn't want to feel bad about that. And Friday, maybe this Goddess gets some sleep. She's gotta--she's gotta rip her heart out of her chest and watch it beat for a bit because there is some serious editing to do.
6 comments:
Just in case you have forgotten that you can write, I have been walking around the house arguing the philosophy of the Goddess People with the Husband. Yup! A fictional religion. I've spent a lot of time in "Torrn-land" and it's starting to afffect me. I think that's good.....
Why not write both scenes and see which one works better? If you can't use it here with one person; maybe you can use it later with someone else...
I have to think that ultimately Bitter Moon II will be a stronger book for the time and anguish you are putting in to it. Kind of like parenting, that thought probably doesn't help much when you are in the middle of it.
Here's to some sleep, rain and a refreshed perspective :-)
I hope you get some sleep - and resolve the issues.
Ultimately, the decision is yours. It's your name on the cover of the book and you're the one who's going to take the flack for it. So I say, go with your heart. Do what feels right to you and let the chips fall.
Isn't it fun to win stuff? :) Especially when it's stuff you'll actually enjoy.
And dude, that comment you left at my blog was the best, most hilarious comment on the entire fucking thread. Seriously.
"Will you still like me..."
If that sentence ends with "...if I kill another important character?", then the answer is HELL NO. :P
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