Green's Hill-Amy Lane's Home - News

Saturday, July 5, 2008

No...how much DOES my housework suck?

I was in the kitchen, writing, when the Cave Troll came running in all upset--"Mama, mama, SPIDERS. SPIDERS."

I trot into the living room, ready to vanquish an evil dust-bunny or a daddy-longlegs or something, but I can't see what's blowing his little mind.

"Mate? Mate--do you see spiders?"

"Oh yeah--they're all over there--by your chair..."

They? What 'THEY'?

OH HOLY GOD...THERE'S HUNDREDS OF THEM...TINY WHITE ONES...CRAWLING EVERYWHERE...RIGHT BY MY KNITTING, AND MY DRINK AND RIGHT WHERE MY HEAD WAS ONLY AN HOUR AGO AS I SAT IN MY CHAIR.

AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, wait...I didn't put that in quotations marks, and it was an EXACT QUOTE.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!"

The big kids come running in. "Mom--what's wrong? What's the problem? What was that noise?"

"Forget that noise. Where's the FUCKING DUSTBUSTER!!!" (Another exact quote. I"m so proud.)

And then there was the dustbuster and then Mate with the real vacuum and then me, looking forlornly at my knitting chair, thinking, "Oh really. When am I going to sit THERE again?"

I have two words for you all.

BUG BOMB.

9 comments:

Jean Bergerot said...

Bug bombs are toxic to people as well as spiders. I think your dustbuster solution is a better idea.

Louiz said...

oh ick:( how very very horrible and you have my complete sympathy

Roxie said...

If they weren't so creepy, you could have watched them catching and eating one another. Nothing to give you a sense of Nature like a spider hatching in the living room. I hit the little bastards with hairspray. Lacquered them in place!

Bomb if ya wanna. I'd put the troll up against toxic chemicals any day. I wouldn't be surprised if he pooped D-Con.

KnitTech said...

OMG!! I'd had Grilltech's head if he wouldn't have been slaying spiders before I got there!!

Galad said...

The biggest problem with these kinds of invasions is you feel crawly for days after.

It is the time of year for infestations and I don't think housecleaning has anything to do with it :-)

NeedleTart said...

Another less that enthusiastic house keeper here, I have odd little flying bugs visit me every night while I am in the knitting/reading corner. At least you cleaned them out. I am working on detente.
PS posted Friday

Catie said...

yicky
I'd have more words but that sums up my opinion quite well and I must save brain power for the thesis, not that I want to but I really should.

Donna Lee said...

Now I feel all crawley all the way over here. I think it would be a long long time before I could sit in the chair again. And I would bomb. And bomb hard. I figure if they're outside, I leave them alone. But if they come into my house, that's my territory and I have the right to bomb the hell out of them.

TinkingBell said...

Urrggghhh!
Try putting hairspray on them - it makes them all stiff and easier to vacuum (and this is exactly how I felt when we lived in Queensland and I realised that my favourite verandah chair was entirley infested with poisonous red back spiders and I HAD BEEN SITTING THERE FOR DAYS!!!!!