ZoomBoy and the Phone

Very quick post tonight--

ZoomBoy has a phone. Or rather, ZoomBoy has MY old Microsoft Phone that we used to call the cockroach of phones, because it refused to die. 

We also called it the "phablet" because it's pretty big.

Anyway-- his dad took him and his sister to see their grandma today, and I stayed home and worked. That didn't stop ZB from giving his phone a workout though--

 ZB: Mom, she read until one in the morning.

Me: Well, she's tired.

ZB: I wish I had a pen to draw a mustache on her.

Me: Gimme a sec....

ZB: Good photoshop, mom!

ZB: If you feed it after midnight, you'll run out of cat food for eternity.

Me: Very funny. Tell Chicken.

Chicken: Mom, he's been texting me all day.

Me: Well, it was a pretty good picture.

Chicken: Cat Noir





-- so, yeah.  I foresee lots of hilarity to come!

And then there's this picture of Gordie that I posted on Instagram, along with the caption, "Somebody give this cat some fucks..."

I left out the part "As you can see, he has none of his own to give..."

I figured that was self-explanatory.

And that's about it for the night, folks--

Too much FB takeover, not enough writing!

Night all!

Kindle sales and specials and RED FISH IS OUT!

So we all know that primetime news has been hard at work trying to avoid repeating what Anthony Scaramucci actually said--i.e., "I don't mean to suck my own cock here..." on a NYT interview.

What we don't know is how many impressionable young people strained themselves trying it to see if it was possible.

ZoomBoy was smart--he asked if it was physically possible first. I said, "Only with a lot of stretching first," and he said, "Yeah, and you'd have to be pretty big to make it in there."

So good. That's one kid who won't sprain his back doing something unmentionable.

I"m proud of my kid for having the sense God gave a goat, but once again, embarrassed as fuck for my country.

In other news, ZoomBoy is going to his high school orientation tomorrow. I'm nervous for the little nerd ball. He's just not old enough to be there, you know? I hope he makes it through this next year--he's such an awesome kid.

Of course, in the self preservation side of things, I've only got a week to go to try to keep writing while my kids are in the house 24/7, and I gotta admit--that's pretty awesome. I love them, but sometimes it's hard to work from home with them. Saying.

Also, soccer has started. *sigh*  Squish was like, "Mom, you're not going to watch me practice today?" and I was like, "It's 104 and I got to bed at 2:30 a.m.. Sorry honey. I'll wait until it's 95."

She understood.

Anyway--

I've got a lot of new stuff and deals on my books so I was going to list that all here in one place for you!

First of all-- Fish Out of Water will be $.99 for another week, I think? 

Second of all-- RED FISH, DEAD FISH IS OUT!!!!  

Third of all-- Beneath the Stain is a Kindle Special for $1.99 ALL MONTH

Fourth of all-- Vulnerable is a Kindle Special for $1.99 ALL MONTH!!! 

Now, I gave you the amazon link, but remember--all specials are also good at www.dreamspinnerpress.com !!!

And oh! I will be part of a FB takeover at the DreamReader Group this weekend... if you ever wanted to ask me questions like "How big is your yarn stash?" and "Why did you kill Adrian?", now is your chance!

(For the record? Mate said I should answer that last one, "Because I was done with him."  I told him no thanks, I chose life.)

Anyway--if you want an interactive chat, I'll be there.

Amy

Red Fish, Dead Fish...

So, Fish, book two, is on its way out, and I'm both excited and scared. I love romantic suspense--particularly series with the same people in them, and that's what I set out to write.  With J.D. Robb and Kathy Reichs as my original inspiration, as well as countless urban fantasy series to guide me, I wanted the same two people, solving crimes and trying to get each other.  Jackson and Ellery are the result, and I sort of love them very much a lot.

Ellery is the product of wealthy parents in a socially conservative setting. His politics are liberal--but he's prep-school educated, by two strong people (although we have yet to meet his father), and was groomed to be ruthless, ambitious and to adhere to the strict social norms that make up a society.

Jackson is the son of a junkie. He grew up in the shit part of town, fought his way through school into the police academy and was betrayed there by a crooked system he risked himself to fix. The only saving graces in his life are Jade and Kaden Cameron, whose mother took him in as a kid, and a battered tomcat who thinks he walks on water.

Until Jackson and Ellery are finally forced to work together in the first book, Fish Out of Water, that is.

The second book, Red Fish, Dead Fish, finds our heroes after a couple of months of cohabitation--and Jackson is positive that the good thing that he and Ellery have become can't last. He doesn't want to leave Ellery's nice house on American River Drive, but he's reasonably sure Ellery will throw him out on his ear anyway, because why is a guy like Ellery Cramer putting up with Jackson Rivers anyway?

Fate--and a loose end from the first book--throw a grenade into this tenuous situation, and Ellery and Jackson are put to the test.

And the wringer.

I've got to admit, I didn't pull many punches in this book. Jackson is raw and bleeding (literally through a lot of it) through most of the book, and Ellery is frantic. He's in love with Jackson, although he's been too cautious to say it, and suddenly Jackson is doing everything he can not to go off the deep end. Ellery doesn't know how to stop him--he's just got to be there to pick up the pieces when they land.

Reading reviews is a trip for this one--some people say it has no angst and some people say it's code-black. Some people are highly satisfied with the mystery and some people just want to see Jackson and Ellery fight and fuck and learn how to function.

I have to say--I like the mix of the two.

Yes--sometimes I write the basic sweet romance. The Dreamspun Desires are those for me. Sweet. Not a lot of plot--just enough to make it interesting.

But Fish? Fish is plot and irony and a helluva lot of fun.

I have a couple of promotional gigs for this book--one of them being a FB takeover for DSP this weekend, August 4th-6th.  If you have any questions at all, go to the Dreamreaders Group and ask me any questions you want. If you want to submit a question for Naomi to ask me, go to THIS LINK and fill out the form, or just come and chat!

The other thing I have going is my blog tour, in which I did something different!  Instead of going to blogs and talking about myself, I talked about some writers I read and who write romantic suspense in a lot of different forms. I had a whole lot of fun doing this, and you may want to check it out--some of the writers may be new to you and I'd love it if you found new authors because they got a spotlight for Fish!

OH!  And did I mention Fish Out of Water is on sale, both at amazon AND on the DSP site? So if you haven't read the first one, now is the PERFECT time to pick up the second one!

Phew-- so I'll post the blog tour below, with some of the links and more as they become active, and in the meantime--for all of you romantic suspense lovers out there, this series is for you!


Red Fish, Dead Fish
by Amy Lane


They must work together to stop a psychopath—and save each other. 

Two months ago Jackson Rivers got shot while trying to save Ellery Cramer’s life. Not only is Jackson still suffering from his wounds, the triggerman remains at large—and the body count is mounting. 

Jackson and Ellery have been trying to track down Tim Owens since Jackson got out of the hospital, but Owens’s time as a member of the department makes the DA reluctant to turn over any stones. When Owens starts going after people Jackson knows, Ellery’s instincts hit red alert. Hurt in a scuffle with drug-dealing squatters and trying damned hard not to grieve for a childhood spent in hell, Jackson is weak and vulnerable when Owens strikes. 

Jackson gets away, but the fallout from the encounter might kill him. It’s not doing Ellery any favors either. When a police detective is abducted—and Jackson and Ellery hold the key to finding her—Ellery finds out exactly what he’s made of. He’s not the corporate shark who believes in winning at all costs; he’s the frightened lover trying to keep the man he cares for from self-destructing in his own valor.

Fish Out of Water

by Amy Lane 

PI Jackson Rivers grew up on the mean streets of Del Paso Heights—and he doesn’t trust cops, even though he was one. When the man he thinks of as his brother is accused of killing a police officer in an obviously doctored crime, Jackson will move heaven and earth to keep Kaden and his family safe. 

Defense attorney Ellery Cramer grew up with the proverbial silver spoon in his mouth, but that hasn’t stopped him from crushing on street-smart, swaggering Jackson Rivers for the past six years. But when Jackson asks for his help defending Kaden Cameron, Ellery is out of his depth—and not just with guarded, prickly Jackson. Kaden wasn’t just framed, he was framed by crooked cops, and the conspiracy goes higher than Ellery dares reach—and deep into Jackson’s troubled past.

Both men are soon enmeshed in the mystery of who killed the cop in the minimart, and engaged in a race against time to clear Kaden’s name. But when the mystery is solved and the bullets stop flying, they’ll have to deal with their personal complications… and an attraction that’s spiraled out of control.    

Blog Tour

July 28 - MM Good Book Reviews Amy Lane

July 28 - Alpha Book Reviews (Just a little about Jackson in Fish Out of Water)

July 31 - Open Skye Book Reviews Andrew Grey

August 1 - Two Chicks Obsessed Kim Fielding

August 2 - My Fiction Nook Rayna Vause

August 3 - Tammy's Two Cents Ava Drake

August 4 - Happily Ever Chapter Melinda Leigh

August 7 - Long and Short Reviews Karen Rose

August 8 - Love Bytes Charlie Cochet

August 10 - The Novel Approach Tere Michaels

August 11--Grave Tells Melinda Leigh, encore.

Barely conscious...

My first day back is usually a struggle not to sleep too much.

And I'm fucked either way.

If I sleep too much, I can't sleep at night and I"m useless.

If I sleep too little, I can't think, I'm basically a big drool monkey and I'm useless.

Useless me.

That is the story of today.

And I babble.

I tell Mate the specifics of my trials. How many hours without sleep. How long it's been since I've eaten. WHY I'm a completely useless drool monkey, how I shall endeavor to not be a completely useless ball of slobber and babble the next day.

Mate is like, "I get it. You're tired. Don't worry about it. You'll be okay in the morning!"

And I'm like, "blah blah blah blah sleep blah blah RWA blah blah food? blah blah I'm a space case blah blah blah..."

And the kids are all glomming on me and cuddling and the animals are forming a semi-satanic complete circle around my feet to curse me into never leaving again.

Or that's what it looks like--that last fact is undocumented.

Anyway.

All this to say I'm going to bed and if I'm smart I won't get out for a while.

Night!

Things I have left...

*  My sunglasses in a hotel room in Daytona

*  My rack cards in an airport in Atlanta

* My earrings. Everywhere.

*  My water bottles. Everywhere.

* My earbuds. God knows.

* Laxatives in at least four hotels and counting.

* An entire bottle of Advil in a Cafe aGoGo in Las Vegas.

* My event bags in my older kids' house because they stole them.

* My sense of humor at that last airport.

* My sense of purpose in the last day of the con.

* My diet in the restaurant with the A+ rib eye.

* My resolve not to drink wine in that glass of Riesling.

* My common sense in the hotel store when thinking about my kids.

* My charm at the dinner table when I break out the phone and start showing off pictures of the dogs

* My dignity when talking about turtle peen in front of a very amused Lyft driver.

* My heart, back in Sacramento, where I'm going back to find it again.

Orlando RWA2017 it's been wonderful--but I need to go home.

Not dead yet (but I did take a night of rest)

Okay-- so, per usual, RWA is a whirlwind of amazing people to talk to, workshops to attend, and appointments to make.  If I tried to put it altogether for you, I'd fail miserably.  When I go home and try to tell stories about cons like this, mostly what my family gets is numb silence, followed by random non sequiturs through most of the next month. I'll be toodling along, and then I'll go, "Oh, hey, when I was with Karen Rose at RWA we went to this great African restaurant at the Disney resort, and I had the most  AMAZING wine. I mean, I actually drank alcohol. I was stunned."

Or, "Okay, so I was at RWA when I got kidnapped by my boss and I went out to dinner with the lovely ladies at DSP, and I love going places with them and I want to go out with them forever and ever and ever!"

Or, "Oh yeah-- Karen and I copped a knit-- that was fun. I also knit during a couple of panels, but I did not, alas, finish Lynn's fingerless mitts."

There's always, "Geoffrey Symon made my day about six-thousand times this trip--and I finally got his number in my phone. I'm like, 'Yay! We're friends!"

Same with Cathy Tully, who is about the fiercest most awesome broad at the con.

Oh--here's one that just popped out in convo with the fam tonight: "I got to tell Sylvia Day that Chicken was a huge fan!"  (I told Chicken this, and she said, "Yeah, that's fair." Which is practically gushing high praise from Chicken.)

And then there was this moment--"So, did I tell you that Suzanne Brockmann told me her son, Jason T. Gaffney who writes too, is a fan of mine? SHE TOTALLY INSPIRED ME!!!"

Or, "Sue Brown-Moore and I had lunch with Lynn West, and there wasn't a lot of work but I did enjoy the company of two lovely women. Oh--also, Sue and I got to tell about the amazing thunderstorm we watched from her balcony. Because those things will bond you."

Of course, I led with, "Oh! Hey! Elisabeth Staab and I are rooming together again this trip! I'm so excited--we make good roomies!"

And I've been telling everybody that, "Did you know Andrew Grey got the centurion award this trip? We're all so proud for him!"

Oh-- and, "I gave Rayna her shawl-- she seemed to really like it, but of course it's hotter than the sphincter of hell here in Florida, so I'm not sure she'll get a chance to wear it."

And so on.

So it's been an eventful trip--and tomorrow is the book signing, and I'm sure it will be even more eventful!

But tonight, I admit, I wasn't quite feeling up to the noise and excitement, so I spent some time sleeping and eating and, well, finally, blogging.

Tomorrow I'll be up and about and ready to collect more stories, more moments with friends, more knowledge, more memories.

It's always worth the trip.

On a jet plane...

Me: I'm going to the mall and to get shoes--you guys can go or not, but I'm not buying any--

Kids: We're going.

Squish: I need loafers.

Me: That's fair--ZoomBoy, we'll wait until after my check to get you new Vans, okay?

ZB: All I want is pretzels.

Me: That's fair.

So Squish got loafers, and, well, a pair of blinded out $7 sunglasses, and I got flip-flops and a Tardis dress.

And ZB got pretzels.

Oh...

And one more thing...

Mate: Do you want one of these Mrs. Fields cookies?

Me: No. I had one.

Mate: Why did you buy them?

Me: Because I had to look at my ankles under fluorescent lighting today.

Mate: So...

Me: They're ugly.  Huge, bloated, swollen--like dead rotting whales attached to my feet.

Mate: And the cookie was gonna help that?

Me: I just wanted some justice. If my ankles were going to look that bad, I wanted to actually EAT SOMETHING that would make them look that bad.

Mate: *shakes head*

Me: Yeah, well, good news is, I've eaten one. Have some of the rest of the dozen.

Mate: *stuffs mouth*   Sure.

And finally...

Watched Armageddon while folding clothes and packing...

*sings badly* I'm a leaving, on a jet plane (totally plan on Sunday to be back again...)

*waves* See you there!

A story in pictures...

 So, on Friday, we all dressed pretty and went to the salon to get our nails done, so mom has cute toes for RWA.

On Friday night Mom spent from  12-4 a.m. in the hospital with her oldest, while he recovered from an asthma attack, so Mate took the younger kids to soccer camp the next day, and then we went out to eat with their grandma.  When we got home we started looking for Zoomboy's dance shoes, because the entire family thought they had seen them in the last week.

We had not. We are officially the worst parents EVER.

Anyway,

This morning, after a bright and early start...

We got the kids to the fair at 10:20. 

 Where we saw chickens.

We also saw cavies. Lots and lots of cavies. In fact, we saw a convocation of cavies, conjugating in cages.

We even saw cavies getting their hair done for their show. 

Although I didn't get a picture of the handler doing her cavies hair, I do treasure Mate going, "Is that thing bound to the little pedestal," and me saying, "No, he just sits there. It's his thing."  It's amazing what you learn from internet videos--thanks everyone from my FB group for sharing that little tidbit, I felt very smug.

Yeah, fine. There were also bunnies, but this year, the cavies won. 

We also got to see dinosaurs. 

Or, as Squish said, "Dinosaur on dinosaur action."  It was all very exciting. I should note that when we went BEHIND this dinosaur, Squish said, "I don't see the pink spot the cats keep showing us when THEY walk away."

I said, "That's because on a cat, it's the eye of a demon. On a dinosaur it would be like the Eye of Sauron--a terrible vortex of evil that entire people would disappear into, and the nice people at the fair wanted to spare us that."

She was very grateful. 

Mate saw the dinosaur, laughed, and posed like he was running away. I said, "Go do it! I'll take a picture!"

He laughed.

"No, seriously--I'll take a picture. Of course, you know where I'm posting the picture."

"Everywhere," he said. Then he posed, because he's made of BeefSquatch AND awesome!

After the dinosaurs, we saw the student art--so much good stuff, but these two things were my favorites:

And then, after that, it was time for the reason we came. And, yes, we sent our son backstage with NO SHOES and a VERY IRRITATED DANCE INSTRUCTOR because, as I have mentioned, we are terrible, terrible people, and by the time we realized the shoes were gone, we couldn't find a place for fifty miles that sold them so we could pretend we had them all along.

But they did pretty good, don't you think?

And then? Afterwards? 

We went and got barbecue, and thank God nobody got a picture of me eating ribs because I'd never live it down.

And then funnel cake.

And then? 

It was three o'lock, and the kids were like this:

That's cooked and done.

Me too, for the record. 

And I'm out of here--blogging might be spotty next week. I leave for RWA LITERALLY in the asscrack of dawn. So, look for me on other social media, and I'll try to remember pix!

Night all!