Packing: Me vs. My Husband

Me: Okay, so we're going to need eight days of clothing...

Mate:  Check.

Me: Eight pairs of underwear--

Mate: Check.

Me: Plust eight more pairs because screaming period has commenced.

Mate: And socks.

Me: ....

Mate: And coats.

Me: And six bras.

Mate:...

Me: And eight T-shirts.

Mate: And eight T-shirts.

Me: And four pairs of jeans.

Mate: And two pairs of jeans.

Me: And five sweaters to go over the T-shirts.

Mate: And one hooded Sweatshirt.

Me: And four days of semi-formal clothes because we're going to be in a nice hotel and there's going to be lunch and dinner and brunch and something in case I hate what I brought.

Mate: And two plaid work shirts.

Me: And one more outfit in the semi-formal class because you just never know and remember the screaming period.

Mate: ...

Me: And another pair of jeans because of the screaming period and God knows where that's going to end up.

Mate: ...

Me: And wedding clothes. One dress and a cardigan.

Mate: A suit.

Me: And an extra cardigan in case red looks too pop for this crowd.

Mate: A tie.

Me: And add something to the semi-formal clothes just in case oh my God this suitcase holding the formal clothes gets lost.

Mate: ...

Me: And a bathing suit.

Mate: Sure.

Me: And two pairs of shoes I can wear with the dress.

Mate:  Shiny shoes.

Me: And a pair of sandals I can wear in the hotel.

Mate: ...

Me: And an entire box of feminine hygiene because of the screaming period.

Mate: And Motrin.

Me: And another bottle of Motrin, yes, two at the very least.

Mate: ...

Me: And yarn--small bag, so I can make my hand warmers on the plane.

Mate: My phone.

Me: And a ball so I can make you a hat.

Mate: P.H.O.N.E.

Mate: And another ball so I can make Squish a hat.

Mate: You have a phone. I even gave you a power pack.

Me: And three balls of sock yarn in case we get kidnapped by knitting pirates who make me knit until  my screaming period is over.

Mate: I don't believe this.

Me: And my power pack and my Kindle and my phone.

Mate: Whatever.

Me: And a paperback book in case all the electronics die on the plane.

Mate: Sure.

Me: HOLY GOD DO I HAVE EAR BUDS?

Mate: *sigh* Here.

Me: And five random tampons shoved in various corners of the suitcase.

Mate: I'll live.

Me: And my purse, with a brush.

Mate: I'll use your brush.

Me: We don't have a spare body wash.

Mate: The hotel will provide.

Me: Okay. We might be done.

Mate: I don't believe you.

Me: What?

Mate: You'll be throwing shit in your pockets on the way out the door.

Me: Just because I've done this every other time you've ever seen me pack.

Mate: I'll just be sitting here. PLAYING ON MY PHONE.

Me: One more ball of yarn.

Mate: *yawn*

Me: Did I remember makeup?

Mate: I'm going to bed.

Me: PAJAMAS! I NEED ONE MORE GODDAMNED PAIR!

Mate: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....