Super Ego: This would be a Christmas story and it shall have a length of approximately 40 K and the central premise is a young man who is trying to believe in goodness and an older man who thinks he doesn't have any optimism left, and they--
Id: TWO GUYS FUCKING!
SuperEgo: NO! Jesus, they just met, and one is recovering from a car accident and--
Id: LET THEM FUCK LET THEM FUCK LET THEM FUCK!
SuperEgo: We have a plot arc, you irritating sex-addled toddler, now shut up while I--
Id: You can say "cock" in this one.
SuperEgo: We enjoyed the challenge of the category romance.
Id: You can say it more than once. Cock cock cock cock cock cock--
SuperEgo: Only using one word shows lack of imagination.
Id: Penis erection dick!
SuperEgo: If we're quite done, I can have a civil romance depicting the healing force of two men in a Florida condo--
Ego: Can one of them be terminal with something that hurts a lot?
SuperEgo: NO!
Ego: Please? Like, three year ebola or something.
SuperEgo: There's no such thing. And even if there was, it's so rare we'd be crucified. Now just let me indulge in some banter--
Ego: The other one needs to be damaged. Multiple personality disorder. A PARENT ABOUT TO KICK THE BUCKET!
SuperEgo: NO! For sweet fuck's sake, this is just two guys working shit out!
Id: TWO GUYS FUCKING, DAMMIT! THAT'S ALL WE NEED!
Ego: WITH COLOSTOMY BAGS! WHILE ON THE PHONE TO THEIR SHRINK!
SuperEgo: OH MY FUCKING GOD! YOU! ID!
Id: Yessssss?
SuperEgo: If--and only if-- you shut the hell up while I write some goddamned plot, I'll let you watch some porn later.
Id: Can it be THREE guys fucking?
SuperEgo: It can be whatever you find on pornhub. My treat.
Id: Okay. I'm just gonna go thumb through your best sex scenes from the last fifteen years while you try to work but I'll shut up until then.
SuperEgo: Thank you.
Id: EAT SOME CHOCOLATE YOU PORN WATCHING WHORE!
SuperEgo: *mouth full* Dank boo.
Id: Mmm... fingering is my FAVORITE. And then some sucking... and some fucking... and then some coming... EAT MORE CHOCOLATE!
SuperEgo: Go away until I'm done!
Ego: What about me? Did you see this Google search on diseases that still kill people like they did in Brian's Song?
SuperEgo: Look. You're not the Id. I can bargain with you a little. I know you want to cry--
Ego: Happy, you bitch. You haven't ripped anyone's spleen out for three books!
SuperEgo: But I've got Bobby Green coming. You're leafed through my brain cells. You've read the docket. You know what's coming.
Ego: You'd better not pull your punches.
SuperEgo: Bitch, I've got plans.
Ego: Fine. I'm going to be looking up statistics on child abuse-- you enjoy your chocolate and your porn, because you and me have a date.
SuperEgo: Okay, so we've got the two guys, they're being snarky, it's a rain storm--
Id: *whispers* two guys fucking
SuperEgo: And we're not going for the easy fuck here and they're dealing and it's real life--
Ego: *whispers* pregnant ex wife
SuperEgo: And they're doing the amicable divorce thing and she looks a little more human and the guys are snuggling and they're hot and--
Oh. Fuck it all.
It's time to blog, isn't it.
Id: Let's go to sleep and dream of two guys fucking!
Ego: Let's go obsess about all the bad stuff that can happen to people you love!
SuperEgo: Godammit. A Christmas novella. One simple Christmas novella. *yawn* God knows that those two assholes will write when I"m asleep.
Sweet baby ravioli!(hail FSM!!) This is an AWESOME post! And a disquieting view into my own mind when I'm trying to decide on my next story to read. Seriously. *shivers*
ReplyDeleteOh! When I was reading Bonfires (so good!), I was thinking on how much I'd love to re-read your serial blog that riffed off of Teen Wolf and Eureka together. No clue how to find it again. And I would gladly buy a copy of them all together in one tidy Kindle ebook! Hint.
You are consistently one of my favorite authors, even when I'm delving into your purple stuff, and I usually tend to avoid angst. But you make it worth it. You're doing a fabulous job.
K.Tuttle-- the fanfic is under John/Jack -- http://writerslane.blogspot.com/search?q=John%2FJack
ReplyDeleteOh! And thank you!!! Your comments were so kind!!
ReplyDeleteI want to strangle Ego, but then I'm definitely more a light person, not a dark (your basketball book and your dance book both scarred me for life [wry g]).
ReplyDelete"three year ebola" is the funniest horrible thing I've ever read. Awesome post, thank you.
ReplyDeleteOooh, Bobby Green is gonna hurt, isn't it? Yippee! Thanks Ego.
ReplyDeleteI mean, I love all the books. And you write great sex scenes, Id, and SE your plotting is a thing of beauty to behold. But. It's been a while since you three got together and let Amy shred my heart. It's really time.
Thanks gang.
I think I'm scare ut I'm not sure which one to be more scared of, even though I do know the books will always be great.
ReplyDelete