Coastal Magic

So...

I'm going to be at Coastal Magic in Daytona Beach, Florida, in a couple of weeks, and I'm excited. I'm going down a few days early, spending time with a friend who both writes and knits, and we're going to attend a class given by Franklin Habit.

Be still my heart!

I can't even tell you how much I'm looking forward to this.

And at the same time...

Guilt.

Who will tell he kids to feed the cats? Who will walk the dogs? Who will keep Mate from lunging off the bed when he has a nightmare?

And as I contemplate the guilt, I realize it's been a long time since I've gone anywhere without my family.  Wow. September? Is that when Yaoi-Con was?

I've planned a year of moderate travel-- Coastal Magic, DSP Weekend in Orlando in March, Romantic Times in Atlanta, and possibly RWA in Florida, and it's occurred to me that I miss my family during these moments.

Parenthood and career is such a perilous balance, isn't it? I think, in the last two years I've made several unconscious decisions to pick family over career. Interesting that--how sometimes it just happens, whether you will it or not.

That doesn't mean the decisions are easy to live with-- I kick myself daily for not updating my website, not writing more letters to shop out Heaven, not connecting more with the publishing world.

But I think what it comes down to, is that in all the world the things I'd most like to do, are spend time with my family and write.

So that's what I do.

And it's important to remember that I'm the one who set this priority, because if things on the career front don't pan out the way I'd hoped, I'm the one who set the priority. 

Yeah, it sucks being a grownup sometimes.

Anyway--I'm rambling. It's 1:25 a.m, and mostly what I've done today is edit and sleep, with time out to walk the dogs and play Ultimate Werewolf with the kids. (We've been spending about 20 minutes a night doing this--the game comes with an app, and expansion packs, and generally, high hilarity.)  On the one hand, I've worked an eight hour day.

On the other, I've dozed in front of the television for an hour while Mate watched Bob's Burgers.

I think generally, I can't complain. I mean, I can--I've had setbacks, even one today that sort of broke my heart even though nothing really bad happened, I just had to adjust how I was thinking about a story. It will still be published--just not how I thought.

But that too, is a choice.

And not too bad of one, really.

So yeah-- I guess when you're the ultimate grownup, those choices are all about balance. Today wasn't a bad day on the beam.