Me: Geoffie! Johnnie! You're driving me crazy! What do you have to say for yourselves?
Geoffie: But... but there was NO WALKIES!
Me: There was SOME walkies--
Johnnie: There was TOO MANY walkies!
Me: It was a quarter of a mile, Johnnie.
Johnnie: Magic sky water. Did you forget the magic sky water? You went INTO THE DELUGE of magic sky water, and the house was RIGHT THERE? I was all, "What're you doing, mom, the house is RIGHT THERE!" but no, you had to walk into the magic sky water.
Me: You needed a walk.
Johnnie: It made the poop go back up.
Me: That's not what the bottom of my shoes say!
Johnnie: I kept it in just for them. See? Saved you a step.
Me: You're very smart. Geoffie!
Geoffie: Snacks?
Me: No.
Geoffie: SNACKS!
Me: Really?
Geoffie: There were NO butt cookies-- gimme snacks.
Me: Fine.
Geoffie: Snacks?
Me: Fine.
Geoffie: Snacks?
Me: This is your last one.
Geoffie: Snacks? Snacks? Snacks? Snacks? Snacks?
Me: NO! Man, knock it off-- go to your corner.
Geoffie: Corner? Where corner? Wait! Watch me do--
Me: No no no no--
Geoffie: But he makes the best--
Me: No no no no no--
Dogs: Rawr bite yip run twirl
Me: Assholes!
Dogs: Rawr bite yip run twirl
Me: Assholes!
Dogs: Rawr bite yip run twirl
Me: ASSHOLES! STOP IT! Now apologize.
Johnnie: I'm sorry, i should be dead.
Me: No, no-- not like that. Just tell Geoffie you're sorry.
Johnnie: I'm sorry I threw you into the wall, but you shouldn't have bit my penis.
Me: Geoffie, did you hear that?
Geoffie: Did you hear? Did you hear the sound he made when I bit his penis?
Me: I don't want to talk about--
Geoffie: It was like Snoopy getting tagged in the BALLS, man! Snoopy! Balls! Auuuuughhhh!!! It was GREAT! I'm going to bite his penis again!
Me: NO!
Geoffie: Hold me!
Me: No!
Geoffie: Walkies?
Me: It's eleven at night.
Geoffie: Walkies?
Johnnie: Walkies?
Me: Magic sky water, assholes, remember?
Geoffie: Want me to bite your penis again, Jonnie?
Johnnie: Yeah, sure, that was fun!
Dogs: rawr bite yip twirl
Me: *sigh* I'm so glad it's raining again, but tomorrow, we get walkies, and that is a good thing too...
Heh.
ReplyDeleteI love you bundles, but having small dogs is like having toddlers underfoot. Four legged toddlers who: forget their potty training, socialize on the level of a mentally disturbed person, and demand all the goodies you possibly possess with all the finesse' of the IRS. :)
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