Teacher's Conference

Yes Ms. Lane, about your son--
Your sweet Zoomboy, yes, that's the one--
We'd like to say that he's okay, 
But he just won't DO HIS HOMEWORK.

His test scores soar, but what is more
He's kind and calm and carries on
When the rest of the class is loud and fast
But he just won't DO HIS HOMEWORK. 

He can do his math, and his reading's GREAT
But rarely does he participate, 
When he does, what he says is really first rate,
But he just won't DO HIS HOMEWORK!

His desk is full of papers, yes
Some with his name--and some with less
But few with his work, and I must confess
He needs to DO HIS HOMEWORK!

His eyes unfocus, his voice, it mutters

I know that if he had his druthers
He'd be in another time or another place
Where there wasn't ANY HOMEWORK.

Could you maybe talk, and make it big,
Maybe reward and maybe beg
About why his life will crash and burn
If he doesn't DO HIS HOMEWORK?

And I say--

Uhm, you say his test scores are all okay
And he'd rather stare at a sunny day
Than at his desk in shades of gray
Than concentrate on his homework?

Oh dear.

Zoomboy?

Yes?

I must confess, the school thinks it would be best
If in addition to being clean and dressed
You could manage to do your homework.

Zoomboy?

Zoomboy?

ZOOMBOY?

Yes?

Did you hear a word that I just said
About how when you claim you're doing work on the bed
You could possibly DO YOUR HOMEWORK?



Instead of reading?  Really, Mom?

Well, what are you reading?

Harry Potter-- it's glorious, and I can read it forever have you read it?  It's as detailed as Star Wars and I'm working on character bibles and I've got six jokes to tell you about boggarts and closets and the differences between animaguses and werewolves and why you can't let Dementors kiss you and when to use a patronus and how to work an accio spell and…

And I tune him out, and look and smile,
Because how can reading not be worthwhile
And seriously, tell me, how important can it be
That he gives up this joy for his homework?

I pull my head back, and try to be firm,
Because he won't be ten for every term,
But as I talk, the private space behind his eyes
Is full of wizards in disguise
And light saber battles and alien lexicons
And fighting techniques to build religions on
and how you build a tesseract
And how primates and quadrupeds interact
And anything, really, what to do
With what your teachers give to you.

What will do it, son?  Punishment? Reward?
A card on which your triumphs are scored?
Why won't you pay attention--!

I'm bored.

Oh.  That's something I sort of knew…
Schoolwork used to bore me too.

So, what were we talking about, Mom?

I wish I knew.  

Did it have something to do with homework?

(In defense of teachers (having been one)  a moderate amount of homework helps to reinforce what kids have done in class-- it's practice for skills they need to be able to pull out of their ear in a moment's notice.  But, well, Zoomboy and I are sort of the difficult kind when it comes to homework.  I remember kids just like us-- they drove me crazy and were my eternal delight in the same breath.)