*pounding heartbeat*

Okay-- so first, I'm going to remind you that on Monday, I totally pimp EVERYBODY ELSE'S WORK.  Tune in-- there will be book covers and blurbs and buy links and people who are not (thanyajebusamen) ME!

That's pretty awesome.

Secondly…

I was thinking about it…

What to blog what to blog what to blog what to blog what to blog…

Well, I could talk about how I was looking through my Kindle Cloud and there was a lot of embarrassing porn…

I could talk about how I'm reading no fewer than 13 books on the carousel, and I just sort of call them up when the mood strikes…

I could talk about how porn is the condom of Kindles-- essential to life running smoothly in the sexual department, but once you use it, that's it-- throw that puppy away…

I could talk about the stuff I re-read-- like the fact that I'm on Bridge of Birds for the umpteenth time, and how Emma is something I meander through at will…

I could talk about how audio books are a high tech way of revisiting the low tech days where men would read and women would do needlework…

I could talk about how I've been in a writing coma and how I'm thinking this is gonna be a 15K weekend and Mackey, bless him, is almost done, almost done, and when he's done he'll be around 160K and I haven't done anything that long in a long time...

Okay--- whatever.  I've got something in the monkey brain now time to make the lizard brain get to work and pull up my browser and…

Oh hell.  The computer crashed.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck… reboot reboot reboot reboot… close all the .pdfs, close all the extra word docs, close all the pix…

Oh, hello.

What's this?

OMG--what's this?

ABORT ABORT ABORT ALL PLANS 

Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap… is that an edit on my desk?

No, seriously-- is that an EDIT ON MY DESKTOP!

Oh hell-- is that DUE TODAY?

*heart pounding*  NO.  Oh damn… okay…. calm down Amy.  It's just an edit.  I mean, you knew it was there.  It's just that you spent a week in a writing coma, really, sinking into the story, absorbed by it, completely one with your rock star and his family and…

You almost let a deadline whiz right by.

Now, it was Dorothy Parker who said, "I love deadlines.  I love the sound they make as they wing right by!"  And most of the time, I agree with her.

The thing is, when you know they're coming, you can feint right, feint left, do some mental gymnastics, and TA-DA!  That puppy has missed your ear, taken a little hair, but you knew it was coming and took measures to not let the pressure of that puppy smack you in the kisser.

In this case, it was more like I tripped, rolled, and came up face to face with that fucker, right before it was about to take off my head.

So, yeah.  I'll scintillate (or lull) you with my bizarre theories on literature, sex, and electronics at a later date.

Right now, I've got to go do some men
tal gymnastics with a medium sized bear that almost took my head off.

Right after my heart stops pounding, kay?