Friday, January 18, 2013

Cover Squee, and More Whining

Okay-- I've been editing, so I admit, I don't have much to chat about.  Or, I do, but a lot of it is behind the scenes.

And it's weird, how much your behind the scenes stuff can just mertilize your regular day, you know?

Some of my former professional legal bullshit has resurfaced, and I thought I was okay with it.  I was better than okay--I was self-actualized and righteously pissed off!  It was awesome, I was the heroine in the book of me, and I was going to kick some ass!  

And I honestly believed that was how it was going to be, right?  I was going to be that awesome.

And then the stupidest thing happened.  I had a bad weigh in at Weight Watchers.  I won't go into details, but I'd been SO. GOOD.  Better than good.  I'd been a MODEL points tracking, activity pointing, Weight Watcher's machine, and by golly, I was going to walk in there and make the scale my BITCH!

And I walked in there and... well, my gym scale said I lost three pounds.  The scale that mattered says I lost bupkiss.

I cried through the entire meeting, surprised, because it had been a while since I'd been that helpless about anything.

And then I cried through my entire day.  

No wonder I write about men.  My entire emotional process is one long masculine path of utter denial.

Heroine in my own novel, my STILL-fat white ass!

I was devastated-- this bullshit had started again and I was committed to see it through to the bitter end.

Except I've moved beyond it, you know?

Well, apparently the wheels of justice to not acknowledge my emotional need for closure.  *sigh*  Fuck them.  I might have to be out of town when they roll by, so go me!

So, between that, my shitty kitchen table (I did commit to cleaning it--I also committed to getting more sleep--which I shall attempt to do shortly!) the freakishly cold weather, and a little dog who thinks it's hysterical to eat the kitty roca and then come yawn in my face, I'd say the cover squeeeee! was a very necessary joy.

Colby and Terrell look very hot and very hawt, and maybe if I look at the cover enough, some of that photographic sun will seep through my bones.

Oh-- and I have to add this, because it's a classic example of me vs. CMoS.  You all see that little hyphen on the cover, between "Bolt" and "Hole"?  Well, that originally wasn't on there.  In fact, Paul Richmond had already jazzed up the Dan Skinner picture with some blond hair for Colby and some photo manipulation for a few other details (like a sailboat that had no place in the plot, as well as the titles which we damned near nit-picked to death, and we had a product we REALLY liked.

And then the product came back from editing, and it was pointed out that "bolt-hole" had to have a hyphen in it.  It was the CMoS LAW!

I had no idea I was breaking the law of CMoS-- I hope they don't hold my past sins against me, or I'm in a helluva lot of trouble!

And when all is said and done?  I posted it on FB, and half the responders assumed the title was "Butt-hole" anyway.

OI!  Funny only because I SWEARTADOG, that title has no dirty implications whatsoever!  (Bolt-Hole, not Butt-Hole, because the second one really IS dirty.)

Annnnddd I'm rambling.  Time to tak my little dog and my cover squee, and my stupid insecurities, and go to bed.  Night everybody!


5 comments:

  1. I have just dicovered your Steampunk book Under the rushes on a blog and I want to read it. I just read that you have a weight problem..Well I decided to accept myself and now I can say I'm happy! What others think is less important to me. Just wanted to share this with you. I'm trying to find you on FB. Have a nice weekend!

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  2. Amy MY Gawd....I feel your pain....But remember YOU are never Helpless....

    Thanks for the laugh this morning....I needed it

    grammy

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  3. *hug* Because lately I've cried due to just about everything. (People send me flowers? Cry. I see said flowers a couple days later? Cry. Can't sleep? Cry. Wake up alone one morning? Cry.) Some times I guess we just need to cry in life. Such a bitch.

    As for the scale thingy...it's more important to feel healthy in how you're doing than to scale in. Remember all your victories from being a good pupil and focus on them!

    As for Bolt-Hole, M-W.com agrees it should be hyphenated, but that doesn't make the experience any less of a bitch....

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  4. Amy -- nothing deflates me like getting on the scale at WW after a "perfect" week and getting WTF results. I'm like "why did I even do extra water aerobics classes" or why didn't I have that cake. Anyway, wanted to let you know you're not alone. Keep at it. I promised myself a trip to GRL if I lose 50 lbs in the next 9 months. I want to meet you!

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  5. It is so hard to work the WW program and have no loss (especially when you expected one) Hoping that next week the scale takes a big drop!

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