Tis the Season to be Absurd

*  Okay, so I know the ENTIRE WORLD has better things to do, and my own kitchen is dirty and it needs to be clean and I have knitting with a two day deadline and so many other things to worry about just like the ENTIRE REST OF THE WORLD but that doesn't stop me from obsessing over somebody reading my hellsalong, fucking depressing steampunk novel of great import, and telling me it doesn't suck.

Help me.  Please.  Writer's intervention.  Something.  I'm serious.

*  Big T dressed up like a zombie on Friday.  Because seriously, how else are you going to spend the apocalypse!

*  We made soap. It was easy.  Took two hours.  Mate feels like a god.  Eight bars of soap.  Eight washcloths.  An hour a piece.  Now guess who gets to be the goddess?

*  The little dog keeps sleeping with us.  I have the feeling this may put a crimp in one of my favorite activities.

*  I put earrings in.  They hurt.  Too much to take out.  Really?  Yes really.  *headdesk*

*  Mate and I are no longer 35.  What's clueing me in?  The fact that we're falling asleep before our older children and we DON'T HAVE OUR CHRISTMAS PRESENTS WRAPPED.

*  "Oh Chicken!  Big T!  Guess what?  Yup!  You're going to see The Guardians at 11:30 this morning and taking the little kids.  Yeah, I know you've seen it before--so what?  Yeah, I know there's a Kings game we're all going to tonight that your dad's been looking forward to for MONTHS.  SO WHAT?  Here, we'll give you money for the arcade too.  Us?  We're not doing anything.  Nope.  Not a thing.  Swear.  Uh-huh.  Don't mind the pile of scissors and tape over here, nothing to see, nuh-nuh-- no, that's just daddy, getting into the closet of doom.  What could possibly be interesting in there?  NOW GET INTO THE CAR, WE'VE ONLY GOT TWO HOURS!"

*  OMG OMG OMG-- Mary sent me the BEST NECKLACE EVER.  Uhm, our shit's not hitting the mail until after Christmas.  There goes my friend card.  *headdesk*

*  The Christmas cards will be mailed tomorrow.  Which still is not the latest they've ever gone out.

*  Squish spent an hour on a secret craft project yesterday.  It's made out of paper towels.  Uh-huh.  Paper towels.  My hopes aren't high for this one turning out well.

*  The dog needs to be walked RIGHT NOW.  He just doesn't know it yet.  He's still sleeping with my husband.

*  And that's all I got time for... I need to walk the dog, clean the kitchen, knit eight washcloths, take the kids to the movies, wrap their presents, go to a Kings game, take the kids looking at lights, cook Christmas Eve dinner, bake bread for my moms on Christmas day, and ham, and something else, and pies, and... oh hell.  I forgot something.  And now I have to remember what I forgot!

Merry Christmas!!!