Bitching by bullet points...

* The cat has so far managed to ass-dial the following functions on my computer: this weird box that won't let me scroll--but only on CERTAIN e-mails or dialog boxes, the dimmer switch so I can't see my screen, and (this one is fun!) Command + F5--which on a Mac, cues up a voice telling you where you are on the internet. (If you want it to go away, just press it again!)

* I lost my car keys in Teh Crazy on Saturday. Have been using Mates. Can't wait to lose those too.

* My car a/c broke down on Saturday. It won't be fixed until Wednesday--at the "Oh God make it magically fucking true" earliest. It is currently 106 degrees outside.

* My back passenger door attempted to give a fender massage to the car parked on the corner of the curb at Zoomboy's school yesterday. After exchanging numbers (sort of--the owner didn't speak ANY English, and her daughter did not seem to understand the concept of "The insurance should pay for it!") and getting back in the car and crying all over our insurance agent's answering machine, I had an epiphany at eight o'clock last night.

"Mate?" I said to Mate.

"Yes?" Mate replied.

"Is it illegal for cars to be parked DIRECTLY NEXT TO A STOP SIGN?"

"Yes."

"WOOOOTTTTT!!!!" (I screamed, frightening the children in back of the convection oven on wheels with the newly damaged door.)

"What?"

"IT WAS NOT ALL MY FAULT!"

* Blogger is being a fucktard and keeps setting me up on the mobious log in. (Publish comment... log in... go to comment moderation... log in... publish comment... log in... go to Barnes & Nobles and buy evil witch's handbook and curse blogger to barf mealworms in rainbow colors until THIS CYCLE IS BROKEN!)

* I have to drive the convection oven back to school in an hour (when the temperature is at it's highest!) in order to enjoy Back to School Night. I both love and hate this night. If I'm good, in the morning, I'll remember my Supernatural dvd's. That may be the one way I actually survive tomorrow.

* And, it seems, my policy of existing on four hours of sleep at night is giving me a shitty attitude. I'm sure you're all shocked! (Yes, shocked and appalled!) Anyway, should I only blog two or three times a week for a while, I'm pretty sure you know where I'll be... the vortex of crazy awaits!