Lane Lunacy, Christmas Style

Heard recently in the Lane household--most often in the car:

Mate (after sipping from the wrong cup from the cupholder in the front of the car): Yeah-- what's IN there?

Me (eyes bugging in horror): "GUM!"

Mate (choking back laughter): "Mmmmminty!"

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Chicken (wide eyed and ironic): "Yeah, Zoomboy-- if you don't believe in Santa, he won't come, and then Big T and I will suffer from broken hearts!"

Me (horrified, because Zoomboy ain't stupid!): "Careful, Chicken-- remember Zoomboy gets S-A-R-C-A-S-M!"

Painful silence as everyone who can read tries to figure out this word.

Zoomboy: "Sarcm?"

Mate: "That's closer than I got!"

***

Squishy Belle (when her father has not jumped on the gas pedal with both feet, whistling through time and space in order to see more Christmas lights in one go): "Green, Dad, GREEN!!!!!"

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Squishy Belle (while waiting for Dad to come to the table with Taco Bell while we're at the mall): "Mom! I'm getting POTATOES AND CHEESE!!!"

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(This one has been boiled down.)

Me: "Mate, why can't I access GoodReads anymore?"

Mate: "Because I blocked it."

Me: "Why'd you do that?"

Mate: "You asked me to."

Me: "Oh yeah... it was bumming me out..."

Littlewitch (via e-mail): THAT is a good Mate!

***

And for those of you who follow THE show... you will enjoy this.