Okay-- some good moments and some funny moments this week. Let's see if I can remember some of them randomly.
Chicken: "Mom! I thought you were watching Buffy with us!"
Me: "I am! But Buffy's gone all darkside and I hate watching those episodes."
Shocked silence.
Chicken: "FOUR SEASONS OF SUPERNATURAL, AND YOU HATE THOSE EPISODES?"
Me, smiling sheepishly. "What can I say, sweetie. Mama's a spaz."
Chicken: "MO-OOOOOOMMMMMMMM!"
"Well, darling, I guess that would make you the spawn of spaz, wouldn't it?"
And then there was...
"Ladybug! You can either get naked and take a shower, or go to bed!"
"I'm naked, Mom!"
"Good--let's go take a shower!"
"Noooooooooo...." You had to hear the tone of her voice as she ran down the hall with her little butt-cheeks bouncing in the breeze. Trust me--it was high comedy.
And at school this happened...
Student: "Hey--what's number four?"
Me: "That would be the number between three and five, dear."
And then, as I was telling the above story to my husband and daughter:
Me: "So this kid said, 'Hey, what's number four?' and I said..."
Mate: "Vomit AND diarrhea?"
Chicken and I were so stunned that we let him regale us with the full rendition of the diarrhea song from Parenthood. Good times.
The Cave Troll informed me of this today:
"Mom--do you have eyes in your fingertips when you reach behind your back to find me?"
"Uhm. Yeah. Sure."
"Good. Me too."
And my curmudgeonly colleague (who doesn't sound at all curmudgeonly in this story) made this observation about Big T:
Me: "Yeah-- just because T is the size of a Mac truck, people keep thinking he should play football."
C.C.: "Does your son have a single mean bone in his body?"
Me: "Not. Even. One."
C.C." "Yeah. Football probably not such a good idea."
Yup. There's a reason we haven't killed each other after nearly twelve years.
And in addition:
I got to watch Mate coach soccer. It was like watching a rabbit herding fish. Again, high comedy. (He's so good with the little fritters... seriously--I'm so glad he's doing it!)
Roxie who loves me sent me a skein of STR called Crabby McCrabbypants. CAN YOU JUST DIE? Too perfect--an awesome capper to a not-bad first week. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU Roxie!
I got an e-mail from my children yesterday while I was sitting at my desk. The kids had been in the house, trapped like rats all week, without a single fast-food run in sight, and they were rapidly running out of both milk AND Kool-aid. The e-mail said simply: Mom, PLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZEEE bring food. Kids hungry.
Classic!
And my classes are pretty darned cool at the moment. No guarantees they'll stay that way, but then, no guarantees I will either! Tomorrow we have opening day for soccer. LONG. ASSED. DAY. I'll tell you about it on Sunday!
Definitely good shit! Gave me a good laugh this morning :-)
ReplyDeleteHahahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteI love the rabbit herding fish - I am so stealing that to use it every time I try and get both my kids pointing in the same direction!
Yeah, I saw the name on the yarn and knew it had to come and live with you.
ReplyDeleteWishing for videos of your rabbit herding fish. What a hoot!
Love your kid stories!