Random Disney

Okay--while I'm waiting to see if my pictures will post, I'll give you some random stuff that made us laugh:

1. The Cave Troll went 'dying bumblebee' on us at the end of the days-- you know--he'd be running in random loop-de-loops with heavy steps, threatening to make every pause his last moment before he collapsed in a heap. Now THAT'S a happy Cave Troll.

2. The lady who played Cruella de Ville was hilarious. She took one look at Ladybug and said, "Oh, look--it's Ariel's little sister! I'm having dinner with your big sister later. We're having sushi!"

3. We LUCKED into a spot to watch the Pixar parade, which was, btb, totally worth it. The kids sat so close they got squirted with the waterguns, and bless Disney for thinking about that anyway!

4. The Cave Troll totally dissed Mr. Incredible in favor of Wall*E. We don't know why he did that.

5. Ladybug got to RIDE RIDES! After last year's terrible disappointment at Six Flags, watching her light up when she slid in next to us was something special.

6. The sound of relief you heard sometime Friday night was when we all got on the 'Soaring over California' ride. All of those people being lifted off their sore feet. AAAAAHHHHHHHH.....

7. Mate, determined to make all of us milk the last fucking drop out of those high-priced passes drove us to the very last Disney show on Friday. As we were hobbling our way back I told him sourly that the push to see 'Fantasmic' felt like some sort of punishment. He laughed evilly. Bastard.

8. During Fantasmic (which is, as always, totally worth the sore feet) Ladybug fell fast asleep. She slept through the light show, the loud music, and the fucking cannons. Mate and I laughed our asses off.

9. The Pooh ride has no line whatsoever, and it's totally worth the trip to the park to watch the small people go apeshit over Pooh. (You want the pooh? You want the pooh? You can't HANDLE the pooh!!!)

10. I sat on a bench waiting for everybody BUT Ladybug get off of splash mountain (she was both asleep, and, alas, too small) and knit. I didn't know I wasn't supposed to knit--it was day one and no one had busted me for the size 1 bamboo needles in my backpack. Anyway, I listened to three different couples speak in three different languages neither English nor Spanish. So cool.

11. The 'Playhouse Disney show' made the short people dance like squishy little spazzticles. THAT my friend is why you drag them through the fucking park two days in a row.

12. Ladybug thinks all big cats are 'Lions'. Since this is one of the places Chicken got her name--when she was little, all meat was Chicken-- I fear for our future. The Cheetahs in the wildlife park didn't give a fuck one way or the other, though. And they were pretty cool.

13. Mate's favorite moment was listening to Cave Troll scream like a little girl on Space Mountain.

14. Big T's favorite moment was watching Ladybug on Pirates of the Carribean.

15. Chicken's favorite moment is going to be downloading the pictures tomorrow. Because I'm making her, that's why--Mate's minimal internet use is once again hobbling my downloading capabilities, and now that I've got the pix in the computer, I can set her loose.

16. The beach was beautiful--Big T went body surfing for two hours. Chicken and I went to call him back and ended up spending 30 minutes of our own doing the same thing. I want to go back for that alone. I just asked Chicken and she said this was her actual favorite moment too. Big T heard her say that and changed his vote.

17. "Mom, I like the meerkats, but they make me sad because Flower died on the show and that totally sucked."

"That's okay, Chicken, I think they fired the writers."

18. And, finally, coming through Bakersfield on the way home and smelling the lemon-scented cowshit, I came up with the world's stinkiest pun.

"Did you hear about the fertilizer company that developed a way to make fertilizer withOUT cow poop? They put vegetable matter in their patented 'sure-locking' compressor to create the same effect without the methane gas. They call their produce 'No Shit Sure-Lock'.

Okay now, everyone hold your nose and run away screaming--Spider Robinson says that's the best cheer a pun can have.