Okay...so Needletart told me to 'go out and imagine something fun'... and I almost shot back, "I don't need to--my mom's taking the kids on Saturday night!" But then I thought, 'Mmmm...better not...Fate IS the only cosmic force with a tragic sense of humor, right?' (Thank you Kenneth Brannagh for the quote, btw...)
Ugh...I hate it when I'm right.
I mean, lets face it--me and my husband, alone? My imagination was having a better time than a vamping hardbody in an adult toy store... and most of you have read the books...you know I'm not a slouch at stocking the adult imagination department. I mean, no kids? Yeee-freakin-haww, right?
Yeah... the only problem is, the kids may be gone, but there's still three of us here--you had to know Aunt Flo would stick her ugly nose into my business, because DAMN, that bitch can't stand to see a couple of married people have any fun.
*sigh* It's okay. We had fun anyway. We went to a steakhouse for dinner (Tahoe Joe's) where Mate made the stunning observation of "Neither of us have wedding rings on...you realize, that without the kids, that just makes us look like two losers out on a date."
"Speak for yourself!" I replied with what little dignity I have. "I dressed up."
"Your bra strap is showing."
"Well damn, honey, get this loser some steak!"
(Spoiler alert here--they're absolutely rabid about that sort of thing on the amazon.com forums, I'm taking notes...) Anyway, we went to see Harry Potter V, (I had already seen it, but Mate hadn't) and it is much more poignant after you've read the 7th book and can look at each other and say "Damn...everybody in that last shot but Harry is dead by the end.
And then we went to the book store where I bought two really cheap books on stuff that could be termed research if you write what I do...and then we went to all the 'search for this book' computers and searched for Vulnerable so my name would be up all over the store. (Two losers on a date--I did mention that, right?)
And then we stopped at the Rite-Aid for feminine protection and a half-a-gallon of Dreyers Rocky Road ice cream.
Imagine something fun--who needs to, darlin'--we're obviously living the high life right here!
Damn AF! Doesn't she just have a way??!
ReplyDeleteWhen he said, "Your bra strap is showing," You could have said, "Yes, doesn't it drive yu mad with desire the way it hints at delights unseen?"
ReplyDeleteFeminine protection and a gallon of ice cream. My god. Somehow, we are sharing lives.
ReplyDeleteI hope you at least had fun, from the tone of the post I'm not sure. You see, even with verbal inflections I have issues with sarcasm and other forms of humor... I like that you went to all the computers in the bookstore, it is the sort of thing I would do if I were in your position, though I might do it more often than it sounds like you do.
ReplyDeleteSteak house and shopping, sounds like a great date. Does that make me a loser as well?
ReplyDeleteAunt Flo is always true to form and barges in just when you think that you can have some fun! Too funny! I would have gone for either the Coffee or Dublin Mudslide ice cream myself!!!
ReplyDeleteLet us remember that when I told you to "imagine something fun" that The Husband has been working out of state for the last three months!!
ReplyDelete