Santa Fail

Mate and I got a lot of Christmas shopping done last night--I'm very impressed with us. If there was a fold in the space/time continuum and BAM! we wake up and Christmas is tomorrow, give us some tape, some scissors, some paper, and we can make due.  I need to write the Christmas letter-- my other task today-- and at some point in time baking would be great!  But we're on our way to a Merry Christmas, and that terrible mental checklist that starts an ever-present cycle in my head starting the day after Thanksgiving is on its way to being satisfied.

Mate and I are both terribly aware that things can still go wrong.

A lot is made of a baby's first Christmas, and Mate and I are no exceptions to the "ALL OF CHRISTMAS MUST BE PERFECT!" drive-- but then, Mate and I have had our share of screw-ups in the St. Nick department, too.

Examples, you say?

*  Well, there was the time we got the Christmas cards out a wee bit late…

*  And then there was the emergency closet cleaning of 12-12-12!  (Which is also Big T's birthday-- he turned 20 on 12-12-12.)

*  There was the time (undocumented) when all we got for Big T was clothes.  (He didn't ask for anything else that year.)

*  There was the time (also undocumented) when his pile was mysteriously smaller than everyone else's.  (This started the process of sorting their piles at least three days before Christmas, because there is NO rectifying this one at 12 a.m. Christmas Eve.)

*  There was the time (probably documented but it was just so sad…) when he stayed up all night and made himself crazy with how awesome Christmas was going to be, so that when he ended up getting exactly what he wanted, he burst into tears.  (Big T is a delicate duck around Christmas time.  He's mellowed out and become like a young Kris Kringle since, but his generous heart has always been overfull.)

*  There was Zoomboy's visit to Santa wherein this photograph was taken:

*  There was the time Chicken was so tiny she woke up, helped me wrap the chocolate that went into her stocking and then went to bed, woke up, and unwrapped the chocolates that went into her stocking, and never recognized that Santa didn't actually do it.

*  There was the Christmas (mentioned in Country Mouse) wherein Mate and I were so devoid of funds that after buying everyone else's Christmas gifts,  I bought four Harlequin Temptation romances at the grocery store and wrapped them so that the kids wouldn't think that Santa left me high and dry.

*  There was the Christmas Big T woke up at three in the morning and got really upset when we told him hell no since we'd just gotten to bed an hour before he woke us up.  (We were not exactly charitable about this.  Damn, for a kid who's birthday is the 12th of December this kid has had the worst luck with Christmas!)

*  There was the time Santa got the kids cell phones and Mate waited until he thought they were awake so he could call them and the packages would just ring under the Christmas tree.  (This was the year after the one where T woke up at 3 a.m..)  Unfortunately, we may have been up at six a.m., giddy with excitement over the big ticket Christmas gift, but they had entered adolescence with a vengeance and they slept in until eight.  At any rate, he'd set the phones on buzz, so after twenty minutes of kids going "What was that?" they finally found the damned packages at the bottom of the pile.

*  There were the many times mom stayed up until gawdawful a.m. knitting kids' or family's Christmas presents, absolutely sure that CHRISTMAS WOULD BE RUINED if the doll/hat/mittens/scarf were not done absolutely in time for the blessed event.  Of course the best one was after I got the third season of SPN and spent three nights running watching Sam and Dean through three seasons of hell. (I have mellowed out a little since then, mostly because I was tired of being tearful and distraught on Christmas morning-- but that doesn't mean I still don't lose some sleep around Christmas.)

*  And then-- my personal favorite in Christmas loserdom-- there was the time Santa forgot presents small enough to fit in the stocking and ended up at 7/11 at eleven o'clock Christmas Eve.  There were only two kids at this point, but they were just old enough to go, "Geez, mom, the stockings sort of sucked this year.  Since when did Santa wrap stale Gummi worms?"

Whew.

Yeah.  We put a lot of pressure on ourselves for Christmas, don't we?

But (and I can only say this because I have at least minimal Christmas going on in my closet at this point-- I wouldn't be nearly this sanguine if I still hadn't gone shopping) the really impressive thing about all of these failures is that, so far, the kids still love Christmas time.  Even the big ones.  There are still specials to watch and lights to cruise and stockings to hang.  There are still cookies to bake and fudge to rock out and knitting to do (in a timely, relaxed manner, of course.)  Christmas doesn't mean spazzy, freaky parents sobbing in failure to them.  Mostly, Christmas means pretty lights, cuddling in front of the television, and being together.  So I guess the moral of my story is that Christmas (like personalities) can often be a series of successful gestures.  As a kid, I remember some really thin Christmases-- I remember when my dad assembled a bicycle out of spare parts found at the dump.  He cleaned it up, spray painted it, and bought a new seat.  I was seven-- I thought it was beautiful.  Once he made my little step-sister a puppet using foam balls and fuzzy pipe cleaners that he bought for pennies on the dollar, and the duck puppet he made my step-brother out of wood.  I remember the Christmas he didn't get his check until Christmas Eve, and he took me to the electronic toy department in Sears and we all got electronics and not much else.

I remember many, many projects my stepmom made-- hand sewn sweaters, brand new jeans, missed presents under the tree.  I remember the one time my stepmom opened Alexa's present (and didn't realize it.)  My dad took me to a drug store on Christmas day, and Alexa ended up with a coffee cup so my stepmom wouldn't be hurt-- she really loved the rose perfume.

So yes-- it's weird.  I remember all of the Christmas failures--but, like my kids, all of my memories are good.  The moments may not have been perfect, but the intention behind them (unlike other times of the year) seems to have transcended the painful blunder.

The silly season is upon us.  The craziness has begun, and for many of us, work etc. has screeched to a halt while we try to carefully construct the illusion of one perfect time of the year.  I guess it's just important to remember that even if the perfection fails, the sweetness--that can still remain.

***

Just a reminder-- Going Up! is available for pre-sale, and it is available on Christmas day.  Think of it as the literary equivalent of hot chocolate-- sweet, warm, and better with marshmallows.

And don't forget-- the Christmas Kitsch Scavenger Hunt is open until the 21st!

Scavenger Hunt

Hi, all!

So I promised the Scavenger Hunt Recap.

Following is a list of all the places I posted at during the Riptide blog tour for Christmas Kitsch.

Toward the bottom of each post-- whether I wrote an article or not-- is a description of the scavenger hunt, and a special phrase, chosen from the content of the articles I wrote for the blog tour!

There are twelve places-- but all I need from YOU are six of the phrases.

Go visit the blogs, gather the phrases, and email them to me!  You can find my contact at My Website, or at amylane AT greenshill DOT com.  Leave a comment here, so I know to look for you, and be sure to send me your address.  After Christmas, I'll send you a key fob and a bookmark-- or two if you ask for it-- and, well, if you want any other bookmarks (there's a gallery on the website!) be sure to let me know.

And that's it.

Thank you so much for participating-- so many of you have told me that this story is close to your hearts, not just because Rusty and Oliver were dear but because you too had fond memories of a distant past and a rocky beginning.

I love that.  I feel like I gave you happy memories in this story about two boys with a hopeful future.  Thank you so much for playing.

LIST OF PLACES TO VIST.

A Place to Park-- post and chance to win are here at Sid Love's.  

Firsts-- post and chance to win are both here at Sinfully Sexy. 

A stoplight stop is here at Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words. 

And another stoplight stop is right here at Dawn's Book Nook. 

It's a Rat and a lovely review over at The Jeep Diva.

A Place to Lay Your Head is over here at Cup of Porn.

A spotlight stop and a lovely review are over here at Tracey's Place.

A lovely review is here at Joyfully Jay's, and the article about the Freeway Chair right here.

There's a lovely review and a stoplight spot here at Kathy's.  

And another couple of spotlights here at Queertown Abbey and All I Want and More.  

And Mate's Word Edgewise is here at Under the Covers and they already have a very sweet review up as well. 

Looking-- and Going-- UP!

 Okay, so I've been hunched over my keyboard as my uterus drops out of my body, and realizing that yes, sometimes a curse is really a blessing.

If nothing else, the red scourge has forced me to slow down.

Which is nice.  I've had a chance to knit-- in fact, I'm knitting a scarf for L.E. Franks-- she and her daughter are sponsoring a young man transitioning from foster care to adulthood for Christmas, and a scarf was on his list.  It's a small offering, but I feel like I'm doing something, and that's always a plus!

The kids are getting REALLY excited-- and I"m taking this opportunity of pool-less living to clean the house so we can decorate on Saturday, and, well, because Chicken gets home tonight, and a place to sleep would be good.  Mate and I are also making a concerted effort not to drive her away all in one go.  Walking into a clean house is a good way to forget all the things you hate about living at home.

Oh yeah-- And yeah-- Big T is 21 today.  Did I mention that?  I should have mentioned that.  He's just so grown up now, he wants everything low key.  For his birthday party he's having his dad take him and a few friends out for a beer.  I sort of love that low-keyness about him.  I hope 21 is a banner year for my Big Guy-- and that he finds his way out of the morass of male post-adolescence very very soon.  His heart is still huge, his intentions are still pure, and his potential is still very very much in evidence.  I'll have faith.  And he's also taking us to see The Hobbit tomorrow.  Faith well placed, evidently.

Oh-- and the pretty picture?  Zach and Sean?  Did I mention them?

Hee!  I didn't want to overshadow Rusty and Oliver, because A. Christmas Kitsch is a longer work, and B. part of the proceeds go to charity, and, C. well, they're Rusty and Oliver, and sort of loom large in my heart, but I am just so in love with this cover.  

Isn't it awesome?  Adorable?  Like a child's fable, except with romantic overtones?  Paul Richmond did this for me, after I gesticulated with words (I'm sure cover artists run when they see my name by now-- dudes.  I would.) about how I wanted this basic concept of men in front of the elevator door, but I wanted it, well, BETTER than I could do, but I also wanted it in the basic shapes and colors of Ezra Jack Keats' A Snowy Day. 

And did you SEE what Paul did?  Isn't it GLORIOUS?  It's been a busy, painful couple of weeks-- I am just childishly happy about this cover!  But then, that's the sort of feeling I wanted.  I wanted Zach, our business man, who's life had been all about a sort of bleak duty, to suddenly be charmed by a goofy guy who loves to teach children.  And I think this works.  This story isn't really about Christmas, although a Christmas wish does figure in big, and Going Up! is not nearly the undertaking as Christmas Kitsch, but, well, it's beautiful and short and out Christmas Day.  It's also up for pre-sale at Dreamspinner right now-- so enjoy!

And about Christmas Kitsch-- So far you guys really seem to love it-- and I'm so thrilled.  

See, the thing about this story is that I finished it in March, and I've been waiting forever to share it, and now that I am… *hugs self*  eeeeeee!!!  You guys are getting the same happy-fuzzy feeling I did when I wrote it.  I love that.  I love that.  I love sharing that feeling I get with a really good work and having people love it too, so thank you!

And now that more of the blog tour dates are live, I thought I'd give you those direct links, the better to find the phrases towards the bottom of every post.

In addition to these place--

A Place to Park-- post and chance to win are here at Sid Love's.  

Firsts-- post and chance to win are both here at Sinfully Sexy. 

A stoplight stop is here at Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words. 

And another stoplight stop is right here at Dawn's Book Nook. 

There are now THESE places-- remember that the spotlight stops and articles/essays also have the scavenger hunt phrases.  I just got my bookmarks and I'm about to get my keychains and I REALLY WANT to give them away, so don't forget the scavenger hunt:

It's a Rat and a lovely review over at The Jeep Diva.

A Place to Lay Your Head is over here at Cup of Porn.

A spotlight stop and a lovely review are over here at Tracey's Place.

A lovely review is here at Joyfully Jay's, and tomorrow, she'll host one of my articles and the rafflecopter as well.   

There's a lovely review and a stoplight spot here at Kathy's.  

And another couple of spotlights here at Queertown Abbey and All I Want and More.  

And tomorrow, there will be an article at Under the Covers and they already have a very sweet review up as well. 

There is also a lovely review (alas, no Scavenger hunt phrase) here, at Rainbow Book Reviews.  

Whew!  And I think that's about it!  I'll post either tomorrow the 13th or early Saturday the 14th, so you guys can start collecting phrases if you haven't already :-)

And now?  Well, a little more work to do and then?  (I am so excited about this, it's really sort of sad) I get to clean the house.  

*shakes head*  Yeah, well, weird stuff gets exciting when you're grown up.

Thank You

And I know-- two posts in one night?

But this one deserved it's own post.

The Rainbow Awards were given out this weekend-- you can read the entire list of AMAZING books RIGHT HERE, but some of my stories got special mention, and I thought I'd say thank you.

Lots of people to thank-- Elisa herself, who makes a superhuman effort to put these together, the members of the jury, who are all volunteers, my readers, my friends, my Mate, my Mary, my editor (the same editor for all four works-- she's a wonder and I adore her) and generally?

Everyone.  I need to thank everyone.  I am, as always by such recognition, humble and grateful, and very very glad.

I don't enter all these books because I think, "Hey, I think they'll all win!"  I enter them because I think, "Hey.  Maybe, if I"m lucky, one of them will win."  I know the quality of writers with whom I compete.  I am very, very fortunate--and I don't doubt that for a minute.

Thank you.

Dex in Blue-- Tied for first in Best General Contemporary Novel

Racing for the Sun-- won the William Neale Award for Best Gay Romance

Mourning Heaven-- tied for second, Best Gay Romance

Under the Rushes-- in a three-way tie for Best Gay Sci-Fi/Futuristic

And all four novels placed in Best Gay Novel 
Best Gay Novel1. Adam Fitzroy - Make Do and Mend
Runners Up:
2. Amy Lane - Racing for the Sun
3. Amy Lane - Mourning Heaven / Ryan Loveless - Ethan Who Loved Carter
4. Scott M. Terry - Cowboys, Armageddon, and The Truth / Kim Fielding - Brute
5. Alicia Cameron - Inherent Gifts / Amy Lane - Under the Rushes / L.A. Witt - Something New Under the Sun
6. Amy Lane - Dex in Blue/ Rick R. Reed - Raining Men
7. Taylor V. Donovan - Disasterology 101
8. Carter Quinn - Out of the Blackness
9. James Erich – Dreams
10. Eric Arvin - Mingled Destinies of Crocodiles and Men / Jere' M. Fishback - Tyler Buckspan / Kaje Harper - Nor Iron Bars A Cage / Lou Harper - Spirit Sanguine

 So thank you.  I linked all the novels to Dreamspinner Press where they are on sale along with all of the presses Rainbow Award Winning books-- and there are quite a lot of them.  I'm in amazing company, and I never take for granted--ever-- how much hard work goes into this effort to appreciate writing.

Thank you, Elisa, thank you everyone.  I love that my words have moved you.

Amy

Dance of the Sugar Crazed Parents

No.

We're not that delicate.  But, well, we are sort of running around, attracted by the lights.  This weekend was a busy one, with a visit to the Auburn Light Parade where the temperatures ran around thirty degrees F.

Yeah.

You read that right.

Here, in this part of California, that there is some cold weather.  I mean, I'm sure folks from Manitoba or Newfoundland would be, "Ooh!  Where's our T-shirts and boarder shorts!" but here?  We were so not prepared to be standing in the cold for an hour and a half, even though we tried very very hard to fake it.

The worst part was that Zoomboy got his gloves wet in about .2 seconds after we arrived, so, what started out as four pairs of warm hands turned into two pairs of warm hands (Zoomboy and Squish, both wearing mine and Mate's gloves) and two pairs of freezing hands (me and Mate, both of us wearing the fingerless mitts we'd brought to go OVER the mittens that the kids had on.)

I was having flashback to the baseball game in Chicago, and not just because those were the mittens that Zoomboy had stolen AND THEN gotten wet!

But the parade was gorgeous-- it's a local thing, and there were over 113 entries, everything from a Christmas lit mini-VW bus to giant dogs with lights in their collars.  Everything was lit--even the bands, one of which had lit red noses.  (We were wondering if they were going to get dizzy with that thing over their nose, but no one passed out in front of US.)

So it was an awesome--if chilly-- time.  And we were reminded that, although fairly fearless and bigger every day, our kids are still seven and ten.  Squish started to cry at the end, over something silly (didn't see enough snow) and after twenty minutes in the heated car, and some chocolate from McDonalds, she said, "I feel better now, Mom!"

Gotta remember-- the little ones get cranky when they're cold, and, yes, they're still little.

And one of the best reminders of this was the Nutcracker Suite!

Wow.  I was pretty sure they'd love it, but I was unprepared for how excited they got at the tea, which happened afterwards.  All of the dancers were there, in costumes, and the kids were given little "autograph books" to go get signed.  Our kids wanted to collect every dancer, and I think they damned near did!  Being served at the tea were cucumber sandwiches, curried chicken croissants, and petit fours!  Nom.  So tasty.  And so much fun!  The mice capered throughout the entire thing, and just as we were leaving, they incited a riot by running playfully from a knot of screaming children.  (Yes, I swear they were playing-- they hid behind the Rat King, and there was much laughing.)

Anyway-- our kids got as many pictures taken as possible, and the dancers were lovely.  They smiled and chatted, everyone from the lowliest sugar plum fairy to the Nutcracker Prince himself thrilled and sweet to the children who loved them.  At first I was worried about Squish's ensemble-- last year's frilly dress was a tad small and a lot well loved.  In fact, it had been loved to death, and so I put her "I love dance" T-shirt over her leotard and tutu.  The dancers adored her, even her old ballet slippers, which went so much better than her tennis shoes.  In being her perfectly Squishy self, she charmed everyone else with her Squishiness, and that was lovely.

But when we got home last night?

*whew*

Done.

I mean, all weekend was Christmas, and we didn't even decorate the house!  I am amazed.

That's okay though-- we'll save the house for when Chicken gets home on Thursday night!

I'm going to leave the pictures to be scattered throughout the rest of the post, but, well, you'll see.  Like I said, the dancers were lovely, even the young soldiers and the two Claras.  I was really proud of our city's ballet-- and a little embarrassed that I had to reach all the way to Los Angeles for Jared, my ballet diva from Behind the Curtain, but then and again, Jared has his moment dancing with children too, and I think he does these guys proud.

Anyway, in other news, Steve saw the vet this weekend too, and the funny part?

Well, the vet made a point to call me up and tell me my cat was a cheap drunk.

Yup-- as soon as she got a hit of anesthetic, apparently the little hussy was hand-humping every tech in the place like a regular Pussy Go-whore!  The thought totally cracked me up, but what was even funnier was when we got her home.  We'd been firmly admonished to monitor her food intake and make sure she didn't eat "too much" and since she was still doing the sloe-gin lurch down the hallway and her food was up on the table, we figured no problem.

The problem was keeping her from wiping out every item on the table in her attempt to just pig out.  Mate watched fighting Big T in her effort to get to the food and started cracking up.

"She's not drunk, she's stoned.  That is one killer case of the munchies right there!"

The cat was too busy stuffing her maw to comment, but I think Mate was dead-on right!











Anyway-- for those tuning in for Christmas Kitsch news, the four stops on the blog tour are as follows:

A Place to Park-- post and chance to win are here at Sid Love's.  

Firsts-- post and chance to win are both here at Sinfully Sexy. 

A stoplight stop is here at Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words. 

And another stoplight stop is right here at Dawn's Book Nook. 

Now December Rain said she had trouble finding the place to collect the phrase-- the problem, I think, is that it's at the VERY bottom.  After the rafflecopter in some cases!  What you're looking for is the copy that describes the contest, and the sentence below it:

So, for example, say you're on Sinfully Sexy-- it's gonna look like this:

Amy Lane’s Scavenger Hunt

In addition to the Riptide giveaway, I'm having a scavenger hunt on my own blog.  At the beginning of the blog tour, I'll publish the tour dates on Yarning to Write.   For every stop on the tour I'll have a "phrase" for the scavenger hunt.  At the end of the tour, I'll put up a post for the people who have found the phrases.  If you comment -- and then send me an e-mail with six of the twelve phrases and your address!-- I'll send you some Christmas Kitsch swag.  The post collecting the winners will go up on the 13th (the day of the last stop on the tour) and you will have a week to go read all of the tour stops and collect your phrases.  The hunt closes on December 21st, at the end of the day and I'll get your swag into the mail between Christmas and New Years!  (Hopefully after I get my own Christmas cards out in the mail.  I'm not known for my punctuality, I'm afraid;-)  Look below for today's phrase!

And don’t forget to collect Amy’s Third Kiss for the scavenger hunt on Amy’s blog on December 14^th!

And there you go.  "Amy's Third Kiss" is the item that goes on the scavenger hunt!

I hope that clears things up, cause I REALLY want to give away key chains and bookmarks!

Anyway, thanks all for listening-- and I'll try to go just a little bit slower on the old holiday bustle.  Man, this weekend wore me out!  

Christmas Kitsch Blog Tour and Scavenge Hunt

ALL HAIL THE UBIQUITOUS BLOG TOUR!

Heh heh heh -- okay, so honestly, I'm not great at contests.  You all have seen me flail around, messing with end dates and just sort of giving stuff away because I don't know anything else to do with it, right?

So bear with me.  Imma mangle this badly.  

Riptide has sent me on a blog tour-- the dates are listed below.  At every stop, there is a chance to win something from Riptide (there will be more details at the various stops) AND at very every stop there is a chance to win something from ME.  

See-- 

There are two kinds of spots-- the basic Stoplight Spot which has contest opportunities and a chance for the blogger to comment on the book (hopefully they like it!), and the spots where I had to sing for my supper.  At those spots, I've told a story from when  Mate and I were young.  See, I pulled a lot on my own experience of moving into a crappy apartment at a young age in order to write Rusty and Oliver's experience the more real, and I thought I'd share some of those moments with you!  Anyway,  I've pulled phrases or moments from these stories and left them for you to find, clearly marked, at EVERY STOP-- for a scavenger hunt.  

At the end of the blog tour, I'll post a reminder.  If you COMMENT on that post and E-MAIL ME with six of the twelve scavenged phrases, I'll send you a bookmark and a key fob for your trouble.  The key fob has the book cover on one side and my dragon on the other, and the bookmark is just like what you see above.  

Of course, if you have designs on other swag items (Johnnies key fobs, other bookmarks, swag bags, pens) now is the time to hit me up-- but remember, you have to prove you've been reading up on all of my lovely hosting blogs!  And DON'T forget to comment on each tour stop, too, so that you can qualify for the Riptide giveaway as well.  

So there you go.  That's me, flailing around on a contest.  I'm going to put this post up on my website, so you can access it if you need to, and when I post over this one, I'll put the blog tour dates on the follow up posts as well.  Speaking of which, the blog tour dates are below, with links!  Below that, for shits and giggles, I've written the titles of my posts with the spot I'm pretty sure the post will be.  Enjoy!

December 6, 2013 - Sinfully Sexy Book Reviews

December 6, 2013 - Dawn's Reading Nook - Spotlight Stop

December 9, 2013 - Sid Love

December 9, 2013 - Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words - Spotlight Stop

December 10, 2013 - The Jeep Diva

December 10, 2013 - Book Reviews & More by Kathy - Spotlight Stop

December 11, 2013 - Queer Town Abbey - Spotlight Stop

December 11, 2013 - Tracy's Place - Spotlight Stop

December 12, 2013 - Cup O' Porn

December 12, 2013 - All I Want and More Books - Spotlight Stop

December 13, 2013 - Joyfully Jay

December 13, 2013 - Under the Covers Book Blog

- See more HERE


December 6, 2013 - Sinfully Sexy Book Reviews -- "Firsts"

December 9, 2013 - Sid Love -- "A Place to Park"

December 10, 2013 - The Jeep Diva -- "It's a Rat!"

December 12, 2013 - Cup O' Porn -- "A Place to Lay Your Head"

December 13, 2013 - Joyfully Jay -- "Hand-me-Downs"

December 13, 2013 - Under the Covers Book Blog -- "Mate's Word Edgewise"